


A Ghost's Dream

by Alcynder



Category: Original Work
Genre: Demon/Human Relationships, Ghost love, M/M, Magic, Mpreg, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcynder/pseuds/Alcynder
Summary: Who would have thought that moving to an abandoned house in the middle of the woods would change one mans life forever.I'm not good at summaries. All of this is unbetaed. Let me know if you find anything wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was previously titled Ghosts Hope but due to unforeseen circumstances i had to take it down. Its now back and hopefully better than before.

Jax didn’t know why Branden was so excited about something way out in the woods. It was him who had always liked the woods not Branden. He was a consummate city lover, never getting enough of clubs and take out Chinese at 3AM. Jax went willingly enough though and Branden's excitement was getting contagious.

That is until they saw the place. Now Jax was not a snob or anything, but the place he drove them to was run down and in more need of a bulldozer than hammer and nails. Jax could see where once it had been a dream house. A cabin deep in the woods made of log and stone, a balcony and porch right below. The wood was weathered to a gorgeous silver and the trees clung around it as if they were hugging it as a part of them.

“What the hell Bran? This is your big surprise?” Jax asked his brother, his older and supposedly wiser brother but he looked a bit deflated himself.

“The pictures of this place were great when the realtor showed them to me.”

Jax felt bad for him but what he still didn’t understand was why he was looking at cabins in the first place.

“Well the dilapidated place aside, what are we doing here?”

Branden looked embarrassed now whereas he had been so proud of himself all the way from the city. “I wanted to surprise you. I know how much you have always wanted to live in the woods and this place was something I could afford…”

His voice trailed off and he kicked at a rock. Jax thought it was so great he was struck speechless for a moment until Jax said, “Bran that’s so…well damn big brother I love it.”

Laughing like Jax was crazy he asked, “Love it huh? Will you still love it when it falls down around your ears?”

“Come on. Let’s at least go look around first okay?”

Branden gestured for Jax to go ahead of him and Jax took the small trail from our car to the front of the house, went up the four stairs to the porch and turned around. The view took his breath away. There were rolling mountains covered in tall pine and rich oak, the valley below him was high grass and carpeted with wild flowers. Suddenly the place didn’t seem so bad. Branden went past Jax and opened the door with the key and push it open hearing the squelch of the long unused hinges.

It hurt Jax's ears but more than that it bothered him like they were disturbing something. The moment Jax went in the door he felt like they should be quiet. No…quiet wasn’t even the right word. Jax felt the intense need to be reverent to the place.

The great room was indeed great. Large and shadowed but warm feeling, antique furniture spaced out nicely around it and seeming to be right out of the showroom except for the layers of dust covering them. The kitchen was in the very back and was partially blocked off from the great room by a half wall. The stairs were set back and were sweeping and wide to the second floor gallery. Jax stared up those stairs for a long time and his heart started beating faster as he did. There was something there, something Jax wanted to see.

Branden brought Jax out of his thought. “So not too bad after all huh? Needs some work but shit, a steal of a price. What do you think?”

Before Jax knew it, he was walking up the stairs. He had it on his tongue to answer Branden but just the time it would take for those few words seemed an eternity and Jax needed to see what was on the second floor. He called after Jax a couple of times he thought but Jax didn’t answer, just kept climbing until he was up there and looking down a wide hallway, two doors at the end of the short hall drawing him to them.  
Now, Jax had never believed in fate, or any of that kind of hogwash. He was raised on not believing anything you couldn’t see but the emotions that came to him the closer he drew to that room, those thick carved double doors was something he could not see but believed in completely. Jax had to go through those doors.

The carvings were of cherubs and vines and in the center of each door was a different figure. On the right door was a man in profile who had longish hair and tender features with wings out of his back. The figure on the left door seemed darker, with slightly shorter hair and demon horns on his head. Good and evil but they didn’t seem to be battling; they looked at each other like they were in love.

Jax stopped staring at them and pushed against the right door, the angel door, and went into the master bedroom. It was beautiful. There was a huge canopied bed with dark curtains hanging over it and a massive carved headboard. There was a dresser and a table with two chairs that sat next to the bay window looking out over more hills and valleys.

Jax was in awe. The room was everything he had ever wanted. The wood, the stone, the view, and most of all, two chairs at a table. Someone had shared that view and who would he ever have to share it with? Jax wanted to feel the bed so that he wandered there next and before Jax could sit on it, he saw a thick old book. Jax's heart started pounding. On the cover were the words “My Diary”.

o0o0o0o

Hayden's eyes snapped open as he heard the old rusty doors open from his spot on the bed. He took a large unneeded breath before chuckling to himself and closed his eyes again. Hayden turned his head to the side, his once black hair moving with him. He raised his hand and ran his sharp black nails through his hair and chuckled again at the voices. Hayden stopped his chuckling as he heard footsteps, knowing now it wasn't his imagination. Hayden's once red eyes glared ahead at the door as the sounds became closer and closer then he sat up on the bed and moved off of it as the door squeaked open. He moved to the corner of the room by the small table there and growled softly, despite it being unheard. Once the man turned, Hayden's eyes widened and his growling stopped. He took a quiet step towards him and reached out, only to have his hand pass through. As the male moved towards the bed, Hayden followed wanting to know his name and why he was there to trick him.

As Jax opened the first page, there was a definite chill that went down his spine. He hesitated suddenly uncomfortable about it, like Jax was looking into someone’s life that didn’t want him there, but the book was old. The chance of the owner still being alive was very little.

“What did you find now?”

Branden was at the door and Jax slammed the book shut. “I was looking around. I think we should buy the house. I really…well I can see myself living here.”

“Well let’s look in the back before you decide for sure and get going huh? I have to get to work soon.”

Jax felt his head nod in the agreement he didn’t feel. He didn’t want to leave. What Jax wanted more than anything was to lay on the big bed and read from this mysterious diary. He wasn’t that much of a dreamer. In a way, Jax was sure it was nothing but some woman’s musings on life but something else nagged at him that it was meant for him. That Jax was the one person in the whole world that was supposed to read it. When Branden finally turned to walk away Jax took the book and shoved it under his shirt and headed for the door to follow Branden out. In the car pulling away from the house, the book felt warm on Jax's skin under his shirt, like a lover’s touch. If Jax couldn’t lay in that bed he would lay in my own and read from the pages with no one to bother him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hayden tilted his head and looked at the other male finding it to be odd that anyone would want a house like this the way it was. As he watched the male, Jax, leave with the book he didn’t do anything to stop him instead Hayden just blinked wondering why Jax had taken it and why he hid it. Hayden sighed softly before going back to the bed and lying down to think of what went wrong with everything in the past. Just like he did every day.

It was stupid Jax guessed to hide it from Branden but he had taken Braden's razzing all of his life and was in no mood for more. When they got back to their house, Jax went in and hugged his brother tightly. 

“Thanks Branden. I really loved the house.”

“Well if you’re sure.”

"I am.”

Jax tried to play the grateful little brother until Braden was gone then he ran to his room and locked the door as if Jax was about to do something wrong. Jax took the book out of his pants and laid face first on the bedspread running his hand over the cover wondering who the hell could have written it.

Opening it gently, knowing how old books were fragile, Jax looked at the inner cover. All it said there was For Kane

“Kane.”

Jax said the name out loud a couple of times and though he'd never heard the name before, at least not used towards anyone he knew, it sounded so familiar. Shrugging off the feeling of familiarity, Jax turned the first page and started reading.

~~~

15th July

My Father and Brother constantly fight now. It has come to the point where they will fight for blood all day until one gives in. I do not see why they do this, for it is pointless. Father is much stronger and older.

As soon as they started today, I left to explore. I ran upon a small village that seemed busy but I stayed in the shadows of the forest that surrounded our boarders for I knew if I would be seen I would be hunted till dead.

After waiting a bit I saw a young human male with the darkest red hair I have ever seen. I seemed to be drawn to him by some unseen force. Even now I wish to return to him. He seemed so beaten and hurt it makes me wonder why. Before I knew it he was gone and I had to leave as well.

Maybe tomorrow I will see him again.  
~~~~

“What the hell?” Jax couldn’t help but be blown away at what he was reading. Fight for blood? What the hell? Jax closed the book and looked at the cover again. It seemed to be just a regular antique book. There were no warnings on the cover, a cover make of cloth at that. It wasn’t made of human skin or anything. Someone was having a joke on someone else with this book. They had to be.

Yes, Jax was scared to death but his curiosity took over and Jax found himself turning to the next page and reading on.

 

~~~

23rd July

It has been awhile since I wrote in this silly book. There were issues that happened.

Kane. His name is Kane.

A beautiful, abused, wide eyed human being. My father calls me insane. I cannot help but not care. He is very talented from what I witnessed from my spot in the forest. He paints. I watch him for hours when he is not called away to do his lazy human family’s chores.

I have gotten close enough to see he has bright blue eyes that are filled with so much sadness.

I have also noticed when he concentrates he bites his lip and messes with his hair. It’s kind of cute.

Maybe one day we will meet and he won’t be scared of me like everyone else.

~~~

 

This person is in love and he is afraid of scaring the boy named Kane. It was heart wrenching to Jax. Was he ugly, deformed in some way? Did he have burns? Whoever had written this, he was so sad it came through the pages as was the pain he saw from this boy he was falling in love with.

Jax rolled onto his back and closed his eyes as he thought about them. The mysterious duo. How it would feel to be admired from afar? Of course Jax wouldn’t know it if they loved him from afar but Jax was pretty sure no one ever had. It’s so funny how he described the boy in the diary. Long dark red hair and Jax had hair like that. He paints and Jax paints. He plays with his hair. It was really like he was talking about Jax. Jax had read enough for the time being. It was making him sad and not just for the people in the diary but for himself. Jax longed for someone to love him like the author of the diary had loved his Kane. Jax stuffed the book under his bed for safekeeping and went downstairs.

 

o0o0o0o

When Branden came to Jax while he was fixing a sandwich a week later and told Jax the house was theirs, Jax almost fell down. Jax had put it out of his mind, what with getting ready to start college and all he hadn’t even picked the diary back up.

“That is terrific! When can we go see it again?”

Branden got the biggest smile then tried to hide it. “How about today? We’ll stop and get some supplies to clean it up.”

Jax hugged Branden's neck and flew upstairs to get on some old jeans and ripped t-shirt to clean in. They drove to the janitor supply and picked up brooms, mops, buckets, sponges, and cleaners and soon they were heading down the gravel road back to the beautiful, albeit falling apart, house in the woods. As soon as they got unloaded, they were packing the stuff up the trail and into the house, and just like before, it seemed Jax belonged there. It felt like home more than anywhere he’d ever been.

They scrubbed and polished for the first hour without incident. The kitchen looked like it had never been used and the floors all shined. They carried the furniture outside to shake the dust off and then whenever Branden would talk to Jax, or when he would pat my back, Jax could have swore he heard a growl. Jax looked around everywhere for the source of the noise but found nothing and Branden thought Jax was hearing things. When Jax finally got upstairs, he felt a little better but that didn’t stop him from hearing things…

o0o0o0o

Hayden watched as the same men came up the path again but this time with strange items in their hands and his curiosity peaked enough to leave his safe bedroom to go investigate. They moved around the place like they knew where they were going and with a purpose. Hayden felt oddly close and safe to the younger and stayed by him. Whenever the strange older male came over Hayden's eyes would glare at him and he would growl until he let him go. Once they were finished with the kitchen, he saw this Jax go upstairs and Hayden ,of course, followed. After Jax went into the main bedroom again, he tilted his head wondering what he would do. As Hayden watched Jax clean again, he walked over to the bed and sat down. After a few minutes, Hayden heard the older male yell up the stairs saying that he was going to get some sort of food he didn’t understand. Jax yelled back at what he wanted making me frown wondering what it was.

By the time the oldest came back, Jax had put Hayden's old things away into boxes and had cleaned off the walls. The older male came inside the room, making Hayden narrow his eyes at him. He tossed some food over to Jax and told him that if he wanted it his drink it was downstairs.

Jax had put down the cloth he had used to clean and grabbed the bag the food had come in and went down the stairs. Hayden followed, still very curious as to what was in the strange bag. Once they had set down they started talking about things he didn’t understand but wanted to.

Once the brothers, as he found out later, were done eating, they got up and continued to work more until most of the easy things were done and cleaned. All that was left was the trash and the things that could not be saved, including Hayden's bed.

Hayden watched them pile the items outside to be thrown away at a later date before locking the door and leaving for the night.

Jax didn’t want to leave. Each mile that went by away from the house made him long to be back there. It was a strange feeling. He’d never been so attached to a house before or any building. Then there was the growling. Branden hadn’t heard it. Was Jax going crazy?

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Branden’s voice jerked Jax back to the car, back to the present. “I just can’t get over it that you didn’t hear that growling. It was creepy.”

“Sorry. Maybe you can hear animals now like Dr. Dolittle.”

Jax rolled his eyes and sighed, exasperated. “Bran, everyone can hear animals. Dr. Dolittle could talk to them.”

And of course came the remark to put Jax in his place for making him sound stupid. “Well, whatever I guess I was getting laid the day teacher read us that part of the story.”

Jax sat with his head against the cool glass of the passenger window for the rest of the ride thinking about the growling and remembering the book. Jax hadn’t read it since that first day. Maybe it would give him some clue as to the sounds and the feelings Jax was getting from the house.

Jax helped Branden unload the cleaning stuff they'd brought back and then Jax ran up to get to the shower first. Jax's the gay one, but no one took a longer shower than Branden. If he didn’t beat him there Jax’d never get hot water.

After a quick wash, Jax got his towel around his thin waist and went into his room, shutting the door. Jax got dressed in a hurry and got the book from under the bed, flopping down on the bed and opening to the third page where He had let off.

 

~~~

1st August

Kane and I have finally met and he is so kind! He seemed afraid when he bumped into me but asked for my help to hide him. I took him to my home where he would be safe.

Since then he has not left. I cannot complain though. I found out that my thoughts were right. His human family treated him wrong while they sat and did nothing to help.

But if there was a God and I believed in him, I would have prayed. Prayed for him to stay. His voice is so soft and it is so calming.

I asked him to paint a picture of himself so I could carry it everywhere and have his beautiful face close to me even when he could not be. It was beautiful..

~~~~~

 

Jax thought about what he had just read. Poor Kane abused and used by his family and this person, whoever it was, being there for him even though his own family didn’t seem to treat him all that well. Kindred spirits maybe? Jax took a deep breath and tried to ready myself for the next page but a thousand deep breaths could not have done it. Jax turned the page and a loose piece came out and landed face down on the bed. When he picked it up, he noticed the texture was different than the pages of the book. It was a small piece of canvas. When he turned it over, Jax gasped and dropping it back to the bedspread. When he looked at the painted portrait on the canvas he saw his own face!


	3. Chapter 3

As the week passed by, Hayden kept seeing the two brothers. By the end of the first week, everything was gone. All his memories. Hayden felt the fear of being alone increasing. Hayden stayed mainly to the bedroom as things got fixed in the house. The walls were painted and new bed was put in. Hayden watched Jax's personality and it slowly reminded him of his Kane. Honestly it felt nice to see it. How he would do the same quirky things Kane would do while concentrating. Hayden also found out that Jax's eyes were a little lighter but basically the same color as Kane’s and he was happier than Kane when he had first met him. Jax's brother though, Hayden still wasn’t so sure about him but he stayed quiet. 

The second week, all of the downstairs was finished and looked brand new. Apparently they really wanted to be here and soon. If Jax was the only one moving here Hayden wouldn’t mind. 

Before he knew it, Jax's things were here and he was on his own. Jax looked around at the transformation and knew this was the home he was supposed to be in. It was bright and open after they cleaned and painted. The kitchen had a good revamp and they had found some good used appliances that didn’t break the bank. Even Branden had to admit the place was great, but as the days went and the house grew livable, Jax knew he’d be leaving him there to live on his own. It would be Jax's first time and he was not too ashamed to say it scared the shit out of him.

The house was his though and it welcomed him. Jax hadn’t heard the growling in days and even when he had before it wasn’t threatening to Jax. It felt nearly protective. The day Branden left, Jax walked around the living room and heard the silence. It was peaceful and not as lonely as Jax first thought it would be. Maybe that is because Jax felt like someone was still there with him but maybe Jax thought that because of the events that transpired later. Either way, Jax soon came to discover that he really wasn’t alone.

Jax went through and finished picking up and rearranging a bit. He knew he would rearrange a hundred times before Jax was satisfied if indeed that ever really happened. After finishing with the living room, Jax went right up to his new bedroom. This was the place he knew he would be spending the most time. The view and the light were perfect for painting so Jax set up a small studio in the corner of the room next to the window. He looked out over the woods and felt like he was hovering up there with the window so clear of dirt. Something moved next to me and Jax must have jumped a foot. He turned his head so fast it hurt his neck but he didn’t see anything. He turned all the way around and saw nothing, no movement or sign of anyone having just been there. A shiver made its way down his spine and he wrapped his arms around his chest.

The second time that happened was when Jax was in the bathroom putting away the rest of his toiletries and towels. Just as Jax shut the door of the medicine cabinet, Jax saw a flash of something to the right of him again. Once again, he jumped and once again no matter how quickly he turned, Jax found himself alone.

“First hearing things now I’m seeing things. Get a grip Jax!” 

o0o0o0o

Hayden thought he was obsessed. He didn’t even know if that was the right word. But Hayden knew he wanted to keep Jax safe. So Hayden followed him without a sound. When Jax had cleaned up a window that afternoon, he moved to turn so fast. The look on his face made him think he had seen him. Hayden wasn’t even sure that was possible. Hayden made a mental note to find out soon. When Jax went to the bathroom, he followed again. Again he jumped. Hayden tilted his head in curiosity. Maybe something was happening.

Once night had come, Hayden watched as Jax went to the bedside table and got out the old book making him chuckle slightly. Hayden wondered how far he had gotten in it. He sat down next to Jax and watched him read quietly. Jax was tired but he knew he wouldn’t fall asleep for hours. Jax was nervous at thinking that he was seeing things, sure, but more than that, it was his first night alone in his own home. That was a huge step. Jax wanted it, but was he ready for it? Time would tell he supposed.

For company Jax decided to take out the diary. Somehow reading someone else’s thoughts and feelings made it feel almost as if they were they with him. Jax opened it to the page he had returned the small painting to and took it out once again. The boy in the painting was very similar to Jax but not exact. He saw subtle differences like his nose was a little straighter and his eyes farther apart but all in all it could have been Jax's twin. He set the picture down and turned to the next page of the diary and continued reading.

~~~~~

27th August

Kane and I speak every day now. I feel so very close to him. I never want him to leave.  
I see it in his eyes as well. I wonder if we are thinking the same thing. Or even feeling the same.  
I think I will ask him. Or maybe that is strange?   
My father says to leave him. Not to bother with pointless flings.  
We will see how he feels when I tell him I love Kane, a human.

~~~~

Not that Jax couldn’t tell where the writer was going. Jax had figured from almost the start that he loved Kane but to read it, to know it in his own words was epic. He let the book drop and rolled over to lay on his back, in complete daydream mode. Jax pictured that the boy who looked like him and someone had grown to love him like the man in the book loved Kane. That it was Jax Hayden wrote about so sweetly. He had wanted that kind of love for as long as Jax could remember but he was shy around boys Jax liked and being shy hadn’t gotten him very far.  
Jax moved to his side to pick the book back up when he got the biggest shock of Jax's life. Someone, someone so extraordinary, was laying in Jax's bed!

Hayden watched as Jax read the book from his spot on the bed. The faces he made while reading made him smile. When Jax closed the book and rolled over, Hayden stared at him keeping space between them, not that it mattered much, but Hayden didn’t want to be rude.

He swore he was looking right at Hayden. He held perfectly still. It felt like Jax had seen him, but that was impossible. Wasn’t it? No one had seen Hayden before. Why now?

Hayden don’t really remember what he did next but he does remember what Jax said. He said, “Who are you?”

The apparition faded and disappeared from view. Jax was shaking all over but not totally in fear. Some was pure excitement, he meant he had never seen a ghost before. How many people had? And this one was laying in Jax's bed staring at him! At Jax. At least that is how it seemed. Jax got out of bed and walked around the room, flipping around trying to catch a chance glimpse again but he didn’t see anything but his furniture. He went out into the hall, into the bathroom, the guest room, all empty from ghosts. After a while it seemed he was chasing air as he ran around to every room. Finally Jax went back upstairs and put the book away. He had had enough of daydreams and ghosts for one day. At least Jax thought so.

After a quick dinner of Campbell’s Chunky Soup, Jax watched a little television and fell asleep on the sofa. He woke up in the middle of the night with a nagging feeling. Something so weird he can’t even put it into words. He shook the sleep off and got up, looking around, but nothing was out of place. Nothing was different and yet everything was. Jax heard something in the back of the house. He ran back there but didn’t see anything. As Jax listened, holding my breath so even that noise would not impede my senses Jax heard it again. It sounded like someone was crying.

It was downstairs.

Once Jax had gotten close to the sound, Hayden looked up and it all stopped. Hayden stared at him for a second before fading. It was all suddenly quiet again like nothing had been making a sound. On the table however, was a yellowed and stained, with blood, letter right in front of Jax. After Jax picked the paper up, the light flickered a little. On the note in shaking writing was:

"Kane, I miss you so very much. As the days pass by, I don’t know how much more of this pain I can take. I keep seeing you everywhere, mainly in my dreams. I don’t want to wake up most days, knowing that at least you will be there. Waking up without you doesn't feel right. You need to be here. by my side like we planned. It gets harder every day and night. Sometimes though, I can feel your breath on my neck and it doesn't make me feel so alone. I can feel myself getting weaker and my mind slipping without you. I wish I could touch you and hear your voice once again. I swear to you, my love, if I could make all of this right, you would have been back by now. What about the plans we had? You weren't supposed to go damn it. You weren't allowed to leave me alone remember? You were supposed to fight through the pain of what they had done to you that day. We were going to leave from these people that hurt you behind. The people who have harmed you. We were supposed to have a family in the woods. Remember the house I promised I would make us? So you could see the sun? I finally finished it yesterday. I think you would like it really. Its got the perfect view for you in our room and in the family area you wanted. You know, so you could paint and draw? They both have huge windows so the light will come inside like how you love it. I even gave you your own little library up the stairs. Its so peaceful there. Its got a big window too for the natural lighting you want. Its perfect love. Just for you. You know I would die...for you. Anything you would have wanted. Tonight, though, I'm screaming out to the stars. He knows he owes me a favor. It doesn't matter where you are, be in heaven or hell, my love, you'll be mine again tonight. Forever like we agreed. Forever Yours, Hayden."

And what was worse than a dark dank basement? One with a ghost! Jax couldn’t believe he’d seen him again but once he found the note his heart broke. It was the saddest thing Jax had ever read and he felt like it was written for him. Jax knew that’s ridiculous but it’s true. He felt like Hayden wanted him to find it and led Jax there and that was all because it was for him.

His name is Hayden. What a strange name. What a strange thing this all was. Here was his suicide note. How sad and hopeless he must have been! But then Jax thought about it. If the note was here that means no one found it so no one found him either! Of course Jax had watched all those ghost and psychic shows and they were always saying the ghost may have unfinished business. Or no one had found their body. Jax put the note in his pocket and looked under the wooden table it had been sitting on. He didn’t see anything so Jax got back up and moved the table, which wasn’t easy. It was heavy! Once Jax got it out of the way, he knelt in the soft dirt of the basement floor. It was very soft and Jax moved his hands through it carefully, still scared out of his wits that spiders may be lurking there waiting to attack him. Yes, Jax knew, he was digging for the bones of the ghost that is haunting his home and Jax worried about spiders. Priorities!

Jax dug and he didn’t get far. Jax pulled out a long bone that he thought must be from the man’s leg. As he dug further, Jax found more and more and finally pulled out a skull, at least it resembled a skull. The head and eye sockets were normal but it was the teeth that was freaking him out.

As Jax stood, Hayden waited in the corner as quiet as he could. He watched Jax even read the letter. But when he moved the heavy table Hayden left. He didn't want to know what became of his body or himself, though it was obvious. Hayden still didn’t want to know. It was hard enough to know he was a ghost. He didn’t need to know anything else. When Hayden left the basement though, he didn’t leave the door. Hayden still wanted Jax safe. At least it was found at last and maybe now Hayden could relax. Highly unlikely but worth a shot right?


	4. Chapter 4

It was not possible all of this could be happening, except that it was and he was scared. He left the bones where they were and took the note up to his bedroom, folding it gently and setting it into the diary. He felt guilty for wishing he had what they had with each other. Sure they had found each other just for one to die young and the other to pine away until he couldn’t stand to live another day without his true love. It was all so unfair. How could the gods or whoever ran the universe hand them all they ever wanted just to take it away so fast?

He looked around the room and thought he could feel Hayden there, watching. He didn’t know for sure, and thought it could be his imagination. Jax want to at least try and speak to him.

“Are you there? Can you understand me? I’d like to help you but I don’t know how. If you can just tell me what to do. I would do it!”

Yes he was emotional but he had just discovered a long buried secret. A horrible secret in the home he loved. This home that was built for a man named Kane who had died too young leaving his lover all alone.   
Tears streamed down his face.

Hayden watched Jax from his spot at the window. Hayden smiled softly at what he did with the letter. Hayden was about to leave when Jax started to talk. At first he was confused. Jax's emotions started to falter the more he spoke. Hayden decided to try to answer him or at least try to let him know he was close. Hayden concentrated a little before saying the first words in hundreds of years 

"Yes?"

It was as if the wind had come through the room and moaned out the word but the word itself was unmistakable. Yes. So simple of a word and yet it had Jax in awe that it was spoken. He gazed around the room not knowing which direction it came from. It seemed to come from all directions. Jax sat down on the bed. His knees were suddenly very weak. Jax tried to keep his fear contained and his voice strong. Jax did not want him to think he was afraid because he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry about what happened to you Hayden. I’m sorry about Kane. I could tell you loved him very much.”

Jax listened but didn’t hear a thing but the steady drumming of his heart. He decided to try again. “I don’t know if it would help but I could bury you. Maybe even bury you with Kane and maybe that would help you rest?”

Hayden frowned when Jax sat down. He moved closer and lifted his hand and touched Jax's cheek. Jax's words made him freeze and back away. Once he loved Kane deeply. He still did. He wanted the truth out but wasn't sure of what he should say. He stared at Jax for awhile before deciding to talk to Jax the best he ever could. Hayden slowly became a little bit more visible "Burned."

The room got colder and the air in front of Jax became distorted. Like the focus was off in the lens of a camera until bit by bit he appeared though not as clear as before. Jax was excited and afraid, he wanted to jump up but was frozen in place. So many things at once and Jax's tears came down harder. These were my reactions until Jax heard the next word and when he said 'burned' my blood ran cold.

“What do you mean? Your bones must be burned? Kane was burned? Oh I don’t understand! Please help me to understand if I can even attempt to help you!”

Hayden moved closer. Only a little bit though. He didn’t want to scare him, or harm Jax in anyway. "Hunted down. Three days. Burn. So alone."

Jax started to shake uncontrollably. Burned? Hunted down? The sadness that filled the room was coming from Hayden. It was emitting from him like a beacon. It was his memories and what could Kane have possibly done to be hunted down? Maybe they weren’t good guys after all! Maybe they were some kind of killers or worse! Suddenly Jax wanted to get out of the house and never look back!  
That is, if Jax could move. Jax was still frozen to the bed and he felt the blood drain from his body. He looked at the fading figure of Hayden and tried to see evil there. All Jax could see was sadness. Did monsters feel sorrow?

Jax's skin suddenly went pale and he tilted his head. Then like a ton of bricks it had hit him. Jax thought Hayden was something he wasn’t. Killed for loving Kane.

"They found out. Found us. Pain in his eyes. Wanted it to end. They...hung him to post...three days...burned alive."

The pain in the room was getting overwhelming and Jax had to get out. He had to run. Jax forced himself to move from the bed and as Jax hit the landing and started down the stairs the words trailed behind him as if they were chasing him. Killed for loving Hayden. How could anyone be killed for who they loved?

Jax was not a complete moron and he was not naïve. Jax, of course, knew how it could happen but he’d never been confronted with it on such a level as this. To know someone who’d lived through it. To feel the pain as it struck his own heart like it had been his own death.

Finally, Jax made it outside and sucked in great gulps of air until his lungs hurt. The breeze was drying his tears even as they fell, leaving a salty film on his face. Jax didn’t look back at the house but started walking into the woods. Were these the same woods that Hayden first saw Kane? Was this where their love had bloomed only to be ripped apart by hurtful minds and hands? As tranquil as they had seemed to him before they looked sinister now. Like behind each tree lurked a killer who would come after me too.

After all didn’t Jax resemble Kane? Didn’t he have his wants and desires for a love such as they had had? Why would Jax be immune to the hatred and murderous lust of others like he had been? Jax sat under one of those trees trying to calm himself. Jax had no desire to go back into the house but he didn’t want to be in the woods either. Jax finally closed his eyes forced his heartbeat to slow. Hayden stepped back when Jax had suddenly gotten up. Hayden did what he had asked. He told Jax what had happened. Even as it hurt him more than ever before. Hayden's eyes stung even though he knew nothing was there. Hayden soon faded from sight once he heard the door shut. 

o0o0o

Once morning had dawned, Jax had finally come through the door. Hayden immediately left the room and went into another room far away as to not harm Jax anymore. It was never his intention to harm Jax and Hayden felt horrible for it. Hayden had to laugh a little at that. Him. He shook his head and sat down in front of an old painting of Kane and Hayden. 

Hayden smiled sadly at it. It had so many burn marks through it from his little rampage through the village. Burning everything there. But he had to save this one painting. And it survived all these years. He remembered, when he was alive, he would come into this room for hours and just stare at this painting. And now Hayden messed up even when dead.

As much as Jax didn’t want to he had to go in. Jax had fallen asleep but it wasn’t a good sleep. The ground was hard and damp and it got very cold in the early morning hours. Jax ran up to the bedroom and threw his robe over his clothes and sat on the bed rubbing his hands over his arms to get the heat in faster. Try as hard as Jax could not to, he found himself looking around for Hayden. In a way Jax wished he would come back but another part of him wanted no more to do with it. Jax was finally warming up and wanted some coffee to wake himself up so he went downstairs and made some coffee. Then while Jax was waiting, he looked out of the window to see if the woods looked any less scary in the light of a new day. Jax guessed they did, but the lingering dread still hung just around the edges of his mind.

Jax got his coffee cup filled and added a bit of cream and a lot of sugar before heading back upstairs to drink it as he painted. Just as Jax got to the second floor landing he heard sobbing again. It was above him. Hayden was crying.

Jax didn’t want to, he almost went back down the stairs and out into the less than welcoming woods, but instead his legs disobeyed his mind and went up to the attic, the one room they hadn’t cleared out. Branden and Jax figured it would be no big hurry. Jax went up and stood before the door with his hand on the knob and turned it slowly. Inside it was much like the cursory time they’d gone through looking for holes in the roof. It was as long as the house and had windows spaced every 6 feet or so but they were small and offered little light. As he moved further in, Jax heard the sobbing getting louder and turned left in the direction it seemed to be coming in.

“Hayden?”

The sobbing abruptly stopped but Jax didn’t. Jax advanced on the place he had heard Hayden and when he got there Jax saw the most amazing sight. It was a painting.  
He knew one of them of course but this was of them together. Hayden and Kane. A painting with both of them. Jax was in awe of it. The more Jax discovered the more real it became to him and seeing them both, the love they felt for one another coming right through the paint, their faces in a true bliss of undying love was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.  
Hayden stopped crying when he heard his name called. Wait. Hayden was crying. He seem to be doing that lot lately. Hayden stood up and backed away from Jax as he came closer to the painting. The painting itself was of the two of us staring at each other, Hayden holding Kane. He smiled again. This day was the happiest of his long life.  
The day we got together.

They were young and beautiful and so obviously in love it warmed Jax straight through. He took the painting in his hands and carried it carefully. It seemed to be singed and in placed was almost falling apart. Jax had a little experience doing art restoration but he didn’t think he would even try with this painting. Somehow the singed edges and holes helped to tell a story. The story of the tragic love of the two in the painting.

Quickly, Jax carried it to his bedroom. Jax set it on his easel after taking his own painting off and stood back to better see it in the light. The people, the couple, were painted in bright and muted pastels and primaries but the world around them was painted in varies muddied grays and browns. They were the only light in the world, or so the painter felt the world around them was dirty and sad.  
Jax went to his bed and reached underneath to get the diary. Somehow the story of this painting was also contained in the pages of the diary and Jax was the one who had them both. Jax, and him alone could discover the wonderful and dark, loving and painful lives of these two. 

~~~~~

3rd September 

Kane has agreed to move in with me. I think I am in shock. I thought he would decline. He has admitted to have feelings for me and I him.   
The days and nights are getting colder. Some days it gets so cold for him he ends up sick. I feel bad always when this happens. He says he's used to it. It always makes me sadder.   
My mother has died. But before she left she visited us. She said she gives her blessing to us.   
Father and brother have now teamed up and whole heartedly disagree with me. They remind me weekly. Though I admit, this week I haven’t seen either one.  
Kane is happy though. He tells me I give him a reason to live in this dark world.   
I think I want to be with this man the rest of his life. HIS life. I know deep down we are meant to be. And without him my life would be meaningless. I would rather die than to be without him.  
My Kane

~~~~~

Jax still didn’t understand some of Hayden’s cryptic comments but he thought that maybe it had something to do with his, for lack of better word, deformity? His teeth so pointed and he wasn’t quite right in the painting either. His ears like his teeth were shaped differently and he had strange eyes though how they were different Jax couldn’t put my finger on. Jax read on to see if the mystery of Hayden would be revealed.

~~~~~~

15th September

I do not know what happened. I really have no possible idea. One second I was watching Kane and the next I was on him, kissing him, touching him.  
He did not seem to mind though. In fact he joined me.   
As I watch him sleep now, his neck and shoulder baring my mark, cannot help but feel complete.   
I never thought I would be this happy. In fact, in the 2000 years of my life, other than my mother, I have never been happy.  
My mark. How will he hide this. Even as we live together, he still goes to the village for his family. What will they say if it is seen?  
I must protect him even more now. 

~~~~~

Jax dropped the book as if it had burned me. 2000 years of life? Jax fought with himself thinking he had read it wrong, or it was just one of those exaggerations but Hayden wasn’t the type for cheap dramatics. He was honest and heartfelt but 2000 years? It was impossible. And what mark? A hickey would not be cause for Kane to need protection would it? What kind of hickey called for death threats?  
Jax didn’t think he could read more so he grabbed the painting back off of the easel and took it downstairs with him. Jax set it up on the counter so he could study it as he made himself something to eat. Jax looked at Hayden again and again trying to see how he could hold 2000 years on his very young looking face. Was he a ghost then? No, not if he was kissing Kane. A witch? No witches didn’t live that long.  
Jax slid the painting off of the counter and set it to the side so he wouldn’t spill anything on it as he stood at the counter to eat while his mind whirled around. He walked off when Jax was done and did some chores around the place as he turned the new information from the diary around in his head.

Jax drug himself to bed later that night forgetting to grab the painting and that was a mistake. A mistake my brother and Jax would both regret. The next morning, Hayden opened his eyes to a loud knock on the door that had echoed up to the attic. He stood up from his resting spot and started his day of wondering around. Hayden went to the kitchen where he saw the painting again and had to smile again. Once the door opened and Hayden saw who it was, he went back up the stairs. Hayden didn’t still agree to be around Branden.  
Branden woke Jax up with a big shake that nearly had him off of the bed.

“Get up lazy ass! I’m taking you to get some food then we are going to finish some stuff up around here.”

Jax wasn’t all that hungry but the gesture was great so he rolled out of bed and started for the bathroom. “I’ll be out of the shower in a few. Make coffee.”

"Fine but don’t take forever I am starving for a huge omelet.”

Jax went into the bathroom and quickly showered then shaved and blow dried his hair before walking back into the bedroom to dress. Jax met Branden in the kitchen when he was ready and Branden handed him a travel mug of coffee before they left for town. Breakfast was great and the coffee Branden made plus the two cups at the diner had Jax wired and ready to get finished on the small things they needed to work on at the house. Jax decided to head up to the attic because he didn’t know what else could be up there that was Hayden and Kane’s and could possibly help uncover more of the mystery Jax found himself completely obsessed with.

After about an hour of cleaning and repairing some rotted boards that were right above the bathroom on the second floor, Jax went down to the kitchen to get a drink and see what all Branden had done.  
Hayden stayed away once they came back from wherever they had gone. They were cleaning again. Hayden sighed as he roamed around after a few hours. The place was once again quiet, before he entered the kitchen to see the painting gone as well as the brother. Hayden tilted his head and went to the window by the door and looked out. Hayden saw Branden outside by the road barely through the trees. Then he suddenly felt so very angry. There, in the trash, was his precious painting. Hayden's hands clenched into fists, and if he were alive, he was sure he would have been bleeding. Hayden waited by the door until Branden came back, Hayden's anger building the closer Braden got. Once he opened the door and walked past Hayden, he lashed out, cutting deeply into Branden's back and shirt. Deep and long gashes suddenly appeared on his back and Branden’s shirt quickly started to soak up the blood.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jax ran into the room after hearing his brother’s horrifying screams and was confronted with too many emotionally assaulting visions at once. Branden was white as a sheet and there was blood dripping behind him splattering on the floor. Beyond him also with blood dripping but from his claws…his claws, was Hayden with his face slit with pure hatred.

“Hayden! No!”

Jax ran between them grabbing his falling brother with one arm while Jax held the other out to Hayden who was coming towards them.

"Please Hayden no! Don’t hurt him, please!”

Hayden growled deeply once Jax came back into the room from his position next to Branden, Hayden's body solid in front of him. Hayden's eyes were the only thing of color, bleeding red. Hayden's lip twitched as Jax came closer and Hayden growled even deeper at him, not wanting to hurt Jax, but wanting to kill his brother.

It was nearly impossible to hold Jax's bleeding whimpering brother up and fend Hayden off at the same time so Jax laid Branden down on the floor while never taking his eyes from Hayden who was almost glowing with anger and hatred.

“Hayden, please he’s no threat to you now. You hurt him bad. Back off or I won’t help you anymore.”

As Jax was saying this to the apparition, he took out his phone and kept it hidden behind his back as Jax tried to dial 911 without looking and finding it impossible.

Hayden slowly let up on growling but did not move nor did his anger toward the injured man fade. He stared at Jax watching his movements and narrowed his eyes

"His....fault."

“His fault? What the fuck could he have possibly done Hayden?” Jax screamed this but knew it was stupid even as he did it. Hayden had claws! He could rip Jax into shreds worse than he had done to Jax's brother.

“I don’t care! Don’t even answer that. I’m taking him to get him some help. Don’t try to stop me!”

Jax watched him closely and got Branden back up. He was fading quickly and losing blood and Jax was afraid he’d go into shock before Jax could get him to the hospital. He looked at Hayden when they passed him and saw something besides anger in his face. Jax saw sadness. 

When Jax got Branden into his car and was headed around the car when Jax's eyes fell on the trash cans. Against the can was the painting. Jax looked back over to Hayden in time to see him fade.

Hayden watched and let them go. He stared out the window for a minute before disappearing. He headed back up the stairs and sat down on the window and stared out again. Hayden looked to the west and where he knew Kane used to be. He felt a stinging sensation in his eyes and shook his head. Hayden thought this was stupid. Feeling this way. He had just lost his final thing he had of Kane's, other than the memory, and Hayden couldn't do anything about it.

o0o0o0o

After the doctors patched Branden up and admitted him for observation, Jax sat next to his sleeping brother feeling confused and very guilty. Guilty that Jax had underestimated Hayden and guilty that he hadn’t hidden the painting better. Jax should have at least put it back onto the easel because Branden would never had thrown it away thinking it was Jax's.

Jax didn’t know what to do or even what to think. How the hell did Hayden have claws to do the damage to his brother as he had? If he’d had them in life it would explain why the towns people were so afraid of Kane and Hayden. It did nothing to explain who he was or had been in life though or what Jax was dealing with the minute he walked into that house.

Jax left Branden and drove home. Jax needed answers and if he didn’t get them or if he didn’t like the ones he got, he would find a way to drive Hayden out of his house.

Hayden opened his eyes at the sound of the door opening, but stayed where he was. Hayden really didn’t want to be talked to right now. If he could, he would rather just go back in time and be with the man he loved. Hayden chuckled and wiped his eyes. Or that he was alone again. Either way, maybe Hayden would still have everything back again.

 

“Hayden you come out right now!” Jax screamed as he got into the house. Jax spun in circles as he looked for any sign of Hayden and listened for any noise. No, Hayden hurt his brother for a mistake but he was playing dead now? Playing dead, Jax almost laughed. He was dead! Jax was in his house and screaming for a goddamned dead person to talk to him.

Maybe Jax was going insane. He didn’t care. It wasn’t something in his head that made those cuts on Branden. It wasn’t his imagination that there was blood all over the floor.

“Hayden please! I need to talk to you I need to know what the hell is going on!”

Jax waited for a long time and finally went into the kitchen to get a bucket to clean up the blood. As he returned to the living room he dropped it and it spilled everywhere but there was Hayden. He didn’t look angry anymore but the sadness was still there.

Jax forgot about the mess and walked over until he was not quite a foot away from Hayden.  
“Tell me. Tell me all of it. If you can anyway. What…what are you?”

After hearing Jax yell the second time, Hayden shook his head and went downstairs. He walked over where he heard him last and stood there. Once he came back, Hayden looked at him and as Jax came close he took a step back. Hayden blinked at his question. What was he? Hayden thought that it was obvious. He mentally shook his head and sighed sadly.

"Tell you what? What could you possibly want to know?"

Jax must have stood there blinking for a full minute or maybe even more. What did he want to know? Where did he start?

“Um, well you said the people burned Kane for loving you, and then I saw you had claws. Normal people don’t have claws. Why do you have claws and pointed teeth?”

Did Jax really want the answer? He wasn’t sure but as Hayden began he knew it was too late to back out.

Hayden waited for the question patiently. He growled slightly at the mention of the death but quickly calmed down. He stared at him for awhile afterwards. He thought of how easy it would be to lie. But before he could even think of it, he immediately felt bad.

Hayden decided the truth was best. Even if Jax didn’t deserve it at this moment

"Demon. They hated me because I am a demon."

Jax knew he didn’t hear right. He couldn’t have. Demons aren’t real! They just don’t exist and Jax refused to believe in such things. Then he caught himself. Jax also never believed in ghosts until he saw one.

"You’re a d-demon? A fallen angel minion of hell devil’s buddy kinda demon?”

Hayden chuckled and smile "Well, I guess you could say that. But do I really look like that?"

“Well no….I didn’t know there was a difference. I just don’t understand any of this. I’m not the type of person who believes any of this kind of thing.”

Jax took a deep breath as he tried to wrap his mind around what Hayden was telling him. It wasn’t easy. Then he thought about Kane.

“Okay then, was Kane a demon too?” Before Jax let him answer, he asked another, “He wasn’t was he? He was….normal. He was human.”

Hayden nodded slightly at what Jax said, because honestly there wasn't that much of a difference. You chose the path you wanted, if you were evil at heart you would turn evil, in appearance and personality. When Jax took a breath, Hayden prepared himself for more questions. However, this question, he wasn’t expecting.

"He...Yes. That's why he was hated. For us being together."

Okay Jax never would think a human could fall in love with a supernatural creature but wasn’t that just the theme of all those idiotic movies?

“I guess I can see why you got so angry but I still don’t agree with it.” The question Jax really wanted to ask scared the crap out of him but he had to trust that Hayden would not hurt him. 

“Why isn’t Kane…a ghost or whatever…like you?”

Hayden frowned and took a step away from Jax. How many times has he wondered that exact question? Hayden turned his head and looked out the nearest window from his spot. 

"I...I don't know. I have wondered that myself many times. Sometimes I think it is because I killed myself and he was murdered."

Jax thought it over a few moments. Murdered. Murdered for loving a demon. Still, though, didn’t they say that those who died violently were ghosts too? Maybe he was haunting where he was killed. Anyway it didn’t matter.

“Is there any way to put you at rest? I mean I don’t mind having you around, except when you attack my family members that is, but this existence can’t be good for you. Isn’t it terribly lonely?”

Hayden growled a little at the mention of him. He looked at Jax and tried to calm himself. "It was his own fault. And no. Not that I am aware of. Of course it is lonely. All I'm able to do it stare and watch....things....large metal...things take over my home. And to think. Think of things I wish I never had to think of."

There was something Jax could do. Jax thought it might work, but he wasn’t sure. He also needed to ask Hayden's permission. Jax didn’t want his wrath pointed at him.

“I think I’ve seen or read somewhere that having a proper burial may put you at rest. If I tried that, with your bones I mean, would you be willing to let me do that?”

Jax waited for Hayden's answer while holding his breath. Jax had not been truly afraid of him until he saw Braden bleeding over the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Hayden stared at Jax for a little bit and thought about it and the little harm it could do.

"Only if you get my painting back."

“I will, of course I will. I’ll go and get it and then I’ll go to the basement and get your...” I shuddered. It had been hard enough touching them the first time, “your bones.”

Jax went out to the trash and saw that the painting was ripped a little on the edge where it had been snagged on the can but the two in the picture were as pristine as ever. Once he got back to the house with it, Jax set it down in front of him and went directly to the basement after stopping to get one of the boxes Jax still had from the move. It didn’t seem like much of a casket but Jax didn’t have the time or opportunity to get something better. Once Jax had gathered every bone that was there he took them back upstairs and stood next to the painting. Looking more melancholy than ever Hayden barely noticed that he was back.

 

Once Jax left the house, Hayden sighed and closed his eyes. Hayden relaxed and calmed himself completely. After a few minutes, Hayden heard the door reopen and the wood of the painting being sat down then footsteps leaving. He opened his eyes once again and stared at the painting. It was almost the same as it was before it was thrown away. Hayden smiled again and continued to stare at it. A little bit later, he barely heard Jax come back. Once Hayden figured he wasn’t leaving, he turned his head and looked at him.

“I’m going to bury them. Bury you under the big tree in the back of the house.” I didn’t know if I was asking permission or stating a fact but either way I needed his reaction or some kind of response.

 

He nodded "That is fine."

Jax went into the back of the house and took the shovel from where it was leaning on the fence. As he started to dig he was lost in thought. As strange as it had been having a ghost in his home, finding out he had been a demon in life and in love with a human was how strange it now felt to think Jax may never see him again. Hayden had grown on him, and not just that, Jax really liked him. Even as horrible as it was that he hurt his brother, Jax knew he did it out of pain. The pain of losing something that reminded him of his lost love. The kind of love he felt was obvious and Jax didn’t know how far he could go to protect it. All Jax knew was that if he was gifted with someone so wonderful, so beautiful he would be destroyed if he lost that love. 

Just like Hayden was.

The deeper the hole Jax dug became the more he wanted to stop digging it. How fucking selfish of him to want to keep Hayden for himself when he had the possibility to be reunited with his love or at the very least he would be at peace. Jax just knew he would miss him. His presence was somehow reassuring. Jax had to laugh. He was more at ease with a demon in his home than he was by himself. Maybe he really was losing his mind.

Once the hole was dug Jax beat the dirt off of his jeans and turned to go back into the house to say goodbye to Hayden but when he turned, Hayden was there. His look of quiet resignation etched on his beautiful face.

Hayden watched Jax dig from the window for quite awhile. The flashes of so many emotions flashing once again crossing his face. Hayden looked up to the sky and watched the clouds. He breathed in deeply and moved away from the wall after a few minutes and went back into the room with the painting. He shook his head a little at the thought that passed through his head. Hayden was really going insane, even as a ghost it seems. He heard something outside and went to go look, standing as far outside as he could go.

There was something Jax wanted to ask. He didn’t know why he wanted to know but he had to.

“Where…where did Kane pass away? I’d like to go there and visit. Maybe take him flowers or something.”

Was this overstepping? Jax didn’t know and he didn’t care he needed to do something for the man who he related to so much.

Hayden blinked suddenly and tilted his head to the side. "I...two days run west from the road."

“Okay, thank you.” Jax set the bones into the hole and put his hand over it as his eyes closed. Jax didn’t think a prayer would be appropriate but he had to say something. This was his funeral, the only one he would ever get. At least Jax thought it would be. “Hayden, I didn’t know you while you were alive but I think we would have been friends. I envy the love you had with Kane and know just by hearing your words and reading them, that you and he shared something most of us could only dream of. I hope this puts you at rest…at peace. I truly hope you find that love you had on earth when you pass from this place into the next. I will truly never forget you.”

Jax covered the grave up with dirt and patted the shovel over it gently.

Hayden stayed where he was feeling nothing at all. He smiled sadly a little but watched, just listening to Jax and the words that he said. "I don’t think it worked."

His voice made Jax jump a foot high. Jax flipped around and there he was looking even sadder than he had before.

“I’m sorry Hayden. I really hoped it would work. I’d still like to go see Kane if that is alright with you.” 

Hayden chuckled softly when he jumped but nodded "Yes that’s fine."

“Thank you, and I’m sorry. I will think of something to help you.”  
Hayden faded away then and Jax took a deep breath. He looked down at himself and saw how filthy he was. He couldn’t go to the hospital or anywhere looking like that, so Jax went inside got a shower and headed out. The hospital was quiet in the floor Branden was on. Jax peeked in to his room and he was sitting up and had more color in his face and for that Jax was really grateful.

“You look better Bran. I’m glad.”

Branden looked over from the TV in the room. He smiled over at Jax "Hey you. I feel better. What happened anyway?"

Jax sat down on the edge of the bed and shrugged. “It was some kind of animal. I don’t know where it went. The sheriff looked for it but didn’t find anything. I’m really sorry Bran I feel like this is all my fault.”

Branden blinked and looked over at Jax "An animal? What animal could do that? And it's not your fault."

Jax looked into his eyes and thought he saw something more there but Jax knew he was tired and everything that had happened had taken a lot out of me.

“I don’t know Branden. You…you don’t remember anything?”

Branden shrugged slightly but flinched "I threw an old thing away then walked back to the house then, I don’t know, just felt sharp pain in my back then blood and you screaming."

Jax didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He didn’t want to think of how close he had come to losing his brother. Jax said goodbye to him and gave him a gentle hug before he got in his car and headed west where Hayden had instructed Jax to go.

The two hour drive found Jax's mind wandering. He had been happy that burying Hayden didn’t work and that was crazy wasn’t it? He meant come on, the demon/ghost had hurt his brother and scared Jax shitless on many occasions but he would have missed him if he had been gone? It was nuts. Certifiable.

Okay so for a demon/ghost he was beautiful and he had a capacity to love like no human he’d ever met. Even as sad as he was he was also good company. His voice his red eyes everything about him was intriguing.

When Jax got to the place Hayden had described, Jax found the clearing in the trees. He found the remnants of the town that had once been there, now mere piles of stone and splintered wood. Jax found he was wondering how much of the destruction had been at the hands of Hayden.

Then it was there. The big round pit with burnt embers at the bottom, a charred wooden pole sticking out of the center of it. The way it looked and the small of the fire was still in the air like it had only just gone out. It felt like Jax had stepped back in time.

In Jax hurry to get there, he forgot flowers. Regardless, he wasn’t going to leave. Here was the place that a bunch of people had killed a man. Not just killed him but burned him slowly for three fucking days. Jax had to swipe tears from his face as they rolled for the sweet Kane. Kane the love of Hayden’s life and that love hadn’t died when the two men did.

“Are you here? Are you a ghost too? Can you hear me?”

o0o0o0o

Cayson stood from his usual spot as he had for thousands of years. He was waiting. Waiting for Hayden. Cayson had a family by now but every day he would spend long hours hidden by the trees at the edge of the forest. He knew that no one else but Hayden would ever come here. And the last time he saw Hayden, well it wasn’t good. Hayden had destroyed almost this whole village. Many people died in his rage. And when Cayson found out why, he wanted to join him. Why would anyone do that? Granted, Cayson didn’t agree with his brother’s choice in mate but he couldn’t stop it and Cayson soon learned to accept it. He heard somewhere his brother had gone insane once. Cayson don’t know if that was true or not but he hoped not.

Just as he was about to leave for the day, he saw something that almost made him fall off his tree. Now he knew he barely saw the guy but if he wasn’t mistaken, the male coming towards the wooden pile was Kane. Cayson blinked rapidly and looked closer. No. There were differences. Small. But they were there. This wasn’t the same man. Maybe. Maybe he was seeing things? Cayson wanted to get closer. He jumped down quietly and slowly made his way over to the male. When Jax started to speak, he stopped to listen. So he knew who Kane was. Does this mean his brother told him? 

"No one but me is here. No one has been here for thousands of years." said Cayson


	7. Chapter 7

Jax almost jumped out of his own skin when he heard the voice. But then when he realized it wasn’t the ghost of Kane, he took a deep breath and calmed his nerves a bit.

“Oh, you scared me. I didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Jax looked closer at this person and something was very familiar about him but Jax couldn’t put his finger on it.

Cayson nodded slowly, staring at the man. He looked so very familiar that he had to think that what his brother had done actually worked. He mentally shook his head. Cayson had to admit, even he had to give him credit now as he wouldn't have thought of it.

"I have always been here. Now tell me why you are here instead of my brother."

“Your brother?” As soon as the words were out of Jax's mouth, he knew who Cayson was. This was Hayden’s brother but it should be impossible. Well impossible except for the fact that Hayden wasn’t human so that meant that neither was his brother. Jax was standing there talking to a fucking demon!

“Um, I…your Hayden’s brother, I got that, but I don’t really want to be the one who tell you this.”

Cayson blinked and stared at Jax. Was he insane? "Tell me what exactly?"

“Hayden…Hayden is a ghost.”

Cayson stared at Jax blankly. Well that proved it. This man was nuts. Cayson chuckled and shook his head. My brother wasn’t dead. Maybe he could have gone insane. But he wasn’t stupid enough to die.

"You must be mistaken then. He isn’t that stupid."

“I never said stupid. He was sad. He’d lost his love and he didn’t want to live but instead of passing on he became a ghost.”

Cayson stared at him. Who was he? He looked down at the stones surrounding the pit then looked back at Jax. "Who are you?"

“My name is Jax and I live in the house that Hayden built for Kane. He’s been talking to me and I’ve read his diary and I know your brother probably better than you do! He killed himself because he didn’t want to live without Kane! Where the fuck were you!?”

Jax didn’t know where his sudden anger come from but since it was there he let it flow. Everything he had learned about the great love of Hayden and Kane, all the anger and pain, and my brother as well as him getting pulled into that anger and pain came through and Jax had had enough!

Cayson listened to Jax calmly and had to grin at the courage he displayed. Then when he said something about how little he knew Hayden, his eyes hardened. When Jax finished his tantrum, he acted. Cayson grabbed his throat and slammed him into the building he had been watching over. The old and partially burnt wood creaked of the old house. Cayson growled deeply, his eyes seemingly glowing brighter in anger. When Jax started to struggle his grip tightened and Cayson leaned in closer to him.

"I don’t know who the fuck you are or how you found the building but don’t you DARE think you know us! Our father didn’t give a shit about him when I did! And when his mate died he came to me!" Cayson took a deep breath and dropped Jax on the ground. "He came to me. Asked me to guard this stone. I grew bored and left after 300 years." Cayson chuckled softly "I came back though. Stupid promise. I watched for so long. I ended up finding a book. It wouldn’t let me read it. But there was a note attached. I barely could get close enough to see who it was for. But I saw my brother’s name. I wanted to tell him. Tell him to come get it. But see that was the issue. No one, and I mean no one, could find the damn house. And trust me. I searched. For years. No luck, so I guarded both."

Jax couldn’t breathe and he felt like his life had come to an end but then his grip lessened. Jax broke away and stepped back, coughing, his throat felt like it was on fire. Jax wanted to run but he was pretty sure Cayson could catch him with little trouble at all. When he was finally able to get past the pain and fear Jax thought about some of the things Cayson had said and a few things brought Jax to stand upright and consider the possible meanings. He said he couldn’t find Hayden, well Jax could help with that. As far as the book went maybe Jax could take it with him but he had to be sure first.

As Jax spoke, his voice was but a croak. “What book? Never mind if you promise not to kill me I will take you to him.”

Cayson stared at Jax and walked over to the building that he had slammed him into. He stepped over the stone at the door and stopped. Cayson looked at the nearby yellowing paper on the book. 

"The book is there. As for seeing my brother, if he is truly dead, he wouldn’t want me to be around to see him the way he is."

Cayson turned to look at Jax. "You know. My brother can be very dense. But if he is dead and allowing you to live with or near him, deep in his insane mind he is trying to figure out why he gives a shit. And you said you read the diary. If that’s true, you know what they looked like. I can honestly say, you, are him. And only you can save him."

Jax could fathom what he meant. Jax wasn’t Kane. Jax was himself. He was Jax and had been for the last 18 years!

“I’m not Kane! I admit the resemblance but I am not some dead guy. I am me and I won’t have you or anyone try to turn me into someone I’m not! As far as me being able to save him, forget it! I’ve tried and I failed!”

Cayson shook his head and nodded to the book "Open it."

Jax was so frustrated he wanted to throw the book at him. “If you couldn’t open it why the hell do you think I can!?”

Jax took the book from the ground to prove a point and as soon as Jax touched it the cover flew open in his hands. Jax stared at Cayson for a few moments before he looked down hating the smug look on his face. When Jax's eyes found the first page, he fainted.

Cayson chuckled and knelt down next to him. He leaned down and picked him up easily, the book in Jax's hands. Cayson carried him to where he saw him come from only to see a large thing that Cayson had never seen before. He shook his head and leaned Jax against the large strange thing and he waited for him to wake up.

o0o0o0o

When Jax came to, he was at his car and Hayden’s brother was laughing at Jax. Well let him laugh. Jax was glad someone found all of this craziness funny!

“I’ll give him the book and then I’m moving out of that house. I want nothing more to do with it or you or him or any of it!”

Jax got back into his car, set the book on the front seat, and drove back home.

o0o0o0o

Hayden heard Jax come back inside the house. He opened his eyes and sat up but frowned at the look on Jax's face. What had happened while he was gone? Or was it him? Hayden stood up and moved over to him 

"What is wrong?"

Jax wasn’t going to tell him. He had told himself all the way home that Jax wouldn’t do it but when he saw Hayden, the curiosity mixing with actual worry on his face Jax couldn’t stop the words. 

“I saw your brother.”

Hayden blinked and tilted his head to the side "Did...he hurt you at all?"

“No! I’m not hurt! I’m freaking out! Hayden why don’t you seem like you’re surprised about my seeing your brother? Why did he say I’m Kane and that fucking book opened for me?”

Jax realized he wasn’t making much sense but it was all too much. He needed to run, to kick, and punch someone!

“Why does he think I can bring you back to life?”

Hayden blinked as Jax yelled. He frowned and moved back. What was he talking about? "My brother has run past by here every 4 years. I don't know why he thinks this. And I know you aren't him." 

“Well maybe you should tell him that. Maybe you should tell that damn haunted book or whatever! He said it would only open for Kane but it opened for me!”

Hayden stared at him and looked at the book "I wouldn’t know. I'm sorry. I really am."

Hayden disappeared then and Jax waited for him to return but he didn’t. Just like the fucking coward he was, he went off to hide. Well Jax wasn’t going to let him hide anymore. If Jax had to bring the psycho back he would! Jax got the book and took it up to his room. He opened it and started to read.


	8. Chapter 8

Several days passed by before Hayden heard anything from Jax. He kept his distance not wanting to make Jax more upset. Right now Hayden was lying on the window ledge in the attic when he heard a loud commotion downstairs. Hayden shook his head thinking nothing of it. He stretched out and turned to look outside. For a few moments Hayden thought he heard something outside. Hayden looked and saw Jax digging in the place he had buried the bones. He blinked and looked down at Jax. What the heck was he doing now?

o0o0o

Jax had tried to talk himself out of doing this a million times but he forged ahead anyway. He needed to. Something was driving him ahead to do this and it became all that was important to him. The few times Jax had visited his own brother, who was doing much better but seemed cautious around him.

Jax had gotten the graveyard dust the book said he needed, collected the twelve black candles and four white ones and had ordered the dragon’s blood from the internet, which had arrived that morning. Jax had everything he needed but the bones he had buried. Jax took them out of the ground and carried them into the basement where Jax was doing the spell. Doing the spell!!! He still couldn’t believe he was doing a spell like a damn witch!

Jax mixed the dragon’s blood with the graveyard dirt and drew out the symbol on the ground. The symbol, a pentagram inside of a circle, the same mark Hayden had on his hand. Once it was finished, Jax set the cardboard box in the center of the pentagram and stood back, grabbing the book and turning it to the page with the words he had to say. Jax listened for Hayden but didn’t hear a sound.

Hayden didn’t know what was going on and yes he was curious but felt like it wasn’t his place. Hayden got up however and started to walk around once again. After a few minutes of silence, he froze. Hayden suddenly felt weaker. He blinked and tried to move but found that he couldn't. What the hell was going on? Soon though he was completely gone.

Down in the basement the bones in the symbol started to grow whiter and soon grew muscles and tendons. Then they slowly grew pale skin over the muscles. The air was calm but had a smell of something Jax couldn't quite place. It smelled like rotting flowers. Jax shivered at the smell and covered his mouth with his hand. It was horrible. Once the skin had settled, long black hair had formed on top of his head. It looked like pure silk strands and the darkest of black. On his hands, there were black long sharp nails. On his left hand was the same symbol on the ground under them.

The body suddenly stopped growing and everything went quiet. Suddenly, the body’s eyes burst open and took a deep and shuddering breath.

Jax watched with a mixture of fascination and disgust as the body…regrew? He saw the blood in the veins and the hallow of the eyes before skin and eyes grew back, the hairless skin before the black hair grew in. 

Before he knew it there on the ground, no longer an apparition, was Hayden, and he was…he was magnificent. 

Hayden took a huge breath and looked around from where he was suddenly laying. He sat up slowly only to find myself face to face with Jax. Hayden blinked and looked down at himself only to find himself naked. But that didn’t bother him. What bothered Hayden was that he was alive and he had no clue how. Hayden lifted his hand and turned it over. Everything seemed normal. He lifted his head and looked at Jax 

"How...?"

Jax held out his hand to help Hayden to his feet and pointed to the book. “I told you. He said it would bring you back and I guess it did. You’re not angry are you?”

This is what Jax was worried about the most, his being angry. If he could do that to Branden when he was only a ghost what could he do to Jax while a living breathing creature?

Hayden closed his eyes a little and shook his head. He stood up with Jax's head and stumbled slightly not used to the weight change. "I’m..I’m not mad. A little hint would have been nice. But I’m not mad."

Jax almost started laughing. A hint? Jax guessed he was more relieved than anything that he didn’t just kill him right then and there.

“How do you feel?”

Hayden looked up at Jax and smiled slightly. Everything felt fine. Better than fine. He was just not used to all the weight yet.

"Naked."

It’s not like Jax hadn’t noticed. Of course he had but Jax really was trying not to look at anything but his face. He felt himself blush wildly and he ran up the stairs to get some clothes for Hayden. Jax thought they were about the same size so he grabbed him some jeans and a comfortable t-shirt. Jax got back to the basement and held them out to Hayden while he averted his eyes.

Hayden chuckled and took the clothes. He dusted himself off before carefully getting dressed. He stumbled slightly when he moved to put on the pants, as he hadn't had to balance for a long time, before quickly catching himself and buttoned the pants. Hayden quickly put on the shirt soon after and both were a little tight but they were good enough for now.

"Ok. You can look."

He looked good. Okay he looked better than good. In the actual flesh Hayden was a beautiful creature ,demon okay Jax still knew he was a demon but at the time he chose to ignore that part, and it was hard for him to keep his eyes off of Hayden.

“I know I should have asked but I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I really can’t believe it worked. Do you feel like your old self?”

Hayden nodded a little but yawned wide. He reached up and rubbed his face. "It is alright. At least I wasn’t in a wall or anything." He grinned a little and shook his head "I feel tired but other than that I feel one hundred percent fine."  
Jax saw the clothes that he brought were too small. Jax wanted to show him he meant only the best of intentions so what else could Jax do besides taking him for some new clothes.

“Um, well I think the first thing we should do is maybe get you some better clothes and maybe some food? I don’t know if you eat or not but I know all the best places to eat.”

Hayden chuckled and nodded. He was starving and these clothes were tight so new clothes that fit better would be appreciated. "I eat. And that would be...fun."

Jax had to hold back the thoughts about exactly what a demon might eat and just smile and wave for him to follow him. They went up the stairs and into the light and in the light he was even more handsome. They went outside and Jax saw his amazement at the sights and sounds of the world around him. It was almost like watching a baby’s first reaction to things. The hard part, though, was getting him in the car.

Hayden followed Jax outside and looked around taking everything in. Everything sounded and smelled differently than it had before. When they stopped, Hayden was still looking around and bumped into Jax. 

"Sorry..." he looked where they had stopped and stared at the large thing there.

“This is a car. We get in it and it takes us where we need to go.”

Hayden blinked and tilted his head. A car? It sounded so weird and looked dangerous. "Are you sure?"

Jax laughed. The things he took for granted to be so strange for someone else. “Yes. I promise. That’s how I got to…where you sent me and back so fast. Come on.”

Hayden nodded a little. Well. Jax was safe. He took a slow step forward but didn’t know what to do to get inside the strange car. He stared at the 'door' and waiting for something to happen. Jax moved to stand next to him and pulled on the 'handle', opening it. Hayden smiled a little and stepped inside and sat down.

They got into the car and at first he looked pretty uncomfortable, and then he got a bit carsick but after a few miles he seems to adjust and started to enjoy it. Jax had no idea where to get clothes for a demon but the more I thought about there was only place to go so Jax took the first turn into the mall and parked at the entrance closest to Hot Topic.

After slowly getting used to everything, Hayden leaned against the window and watched everything pass by. There were so many new things. New things that he had no idea what they were. There were also these lights, they changed colors and people stopped or went for them. Why? He looked at the tall and long building they stopped at and he tilted his head and leaned forwards to see what it was.

When Jax got Hayden out and had him follow him, Jax suddenly didn’t know if any of this was such a good idea. He had a problem with one out of the two people in his house and almost killed him. There were dozens of people going in and out of the mall’s entrance. How many of them would piss him off.

“Listen, Hayden, in this day and age we can’t just go around hurting people. If you think you might want to….can you just…we can just leave okay?”

Hayden looked at the people then to Jax and smiled softly "Alright. I don’t think I will. You have nothing to be worried about."

Jax nodded and led the way through the main doors then as fast as he could to Hot Topic. Once inside, Jax looked around at the clothes and the people shopping and swallowed the huge lump in his throat. Just as I was about to turn around and take Hayden out of there, Jax saw him wander over to a rack of clothes and touch a pair of studded leather pants.

o0o0o0o

Once Hayden stepped inside, the sounds were loud and made no sense. He tried to block it out and stayed close to Jax. Hayden looked around at all of the clothes and other things. He saw one of the items that caught his attention and walked slowly over to it. It looked interesting and he liked it. Hayden subconsciously played with the hole on his lip that had been a piercing in his old life as he looked at the pair pants.

After Jax saw Hayden looking at the pants, Jax picked up a pair that would fit him and led him around to look at other items. Anything that caught his interest Jax got one of what he thought was his size and took him to the changing booth.

“Go in there and try them on. Anything you like I will buy you.”

He nodded at him, looking a little dazed and went into the booth. Jax took out his wallet and filed through his cash and two credit cards which were already nearly maxed out and just hoped he didn’t like too many of the items but even if he did somehow it was worth it.

Hayden quickly tried on the clothes after looking around the strange room. Hayden looked down at himself and smiled a little at how it looked and fit much better than before. Hayden changed before taking the clothes and heading out to where Jax was. On his way over there, Hayden saw a long black chain with two hoops and went to go see what it was.

Jax saw his interest and he showed Hayden how to fit the chain and the hoops to Hayden's old piercings. He looked in the mirror and the smile Hayden got let him know that Jax would also be buying the chain.

Jax was pleased with the way Hayden looked. Twice Jax found himself looking over Hayden and marveling at how beautiful he really was. Jax had to remind himself that not only was he a demon but he was literally crazy in love with someone else. Someone who wasn’t Jax…


	9. Chapter 9

When they got all of his things paid for and they left, Jax walked out of the mall wishing he could hold Hayden’s hand so everyone would think he was the one with such a gorgeous man. Jax had had boyfriends, sure, but none of them looked like this man. Not even close. If he took him to a club, Jax may die in the stampede of men trying to get to him.

As they left the building, Hayden looked around and saw something interesting. But as he didn't know where he was, Hayden stayed near Jax. He looked down at him and saw he was staring right back. Hayden smiled down at him happily. He felt so relaxed and happy around Jax now. More like he belonged with Jax.

It was a long shot and if Hayden didn’t like it Jax may be creating a disaster but Jax decided to take him to get pizza. He stopped at the pizza place and had him wait in the car. Jax thought carry out would be a smarter idea than eating in the place so he ordered two and as soon as they were done he paid and brought them out to the car.

As soon as Jax got them in the back seat he saw Hayden sniffing but he pulled out and found the nearest park. Jax grabbed the pizza’s and spotted a picnic table so he looked to Hayden and said, “Come on, there is something I want you to try.”

Hayden looked at Jax and nodded carefully. He got out of the car and waited for Jax. They walked over to the picnic table. He tilted his head at it but sat down. "Why here?"

How did Jax put this without getting his throat ripped out? “Table manners have changed since your time. I didn’t want to get us arrested.” Jax opened one of the boxes, glad it was the meat lover’s kind. “Pick one up and try it.” He looked skeptical and Jax laughed and opened the other box with Jax's veggie pizza. He picked up a piece and bit the tip making the appropriate yummy noises.

Hayden tilted his head and watched Jax before following what he did. It was weird and was different. But then again it was slightly good so Hayden continued to eat the new food.

Jax watched him devour one slice then go in for another and Jax laughed a little before he threw his crust to a squirrel who had stopped to watch them. The squirrel twitched and quickly grabbed it before it squired away.

Hayden looked up and watched the squirrel scurry off and smiled softly. After a couple of minutes, he finished half of the pizza and becoming full. He looked over at Jax and watched him for awhile as he finished with his own pizza. "What are we doing next?"

Jax was laughing as he was trying to think of what new age adventures he could take Hayden on when his phone rang. Jax looked at the caller ID and saw it was the hospital. Jax's hand was suddenly shaking as he answered, listened to the nurse asking him to come in right away and by the time Jax hung up he was shaking all over.

“I have to go to the hospital right now.”

Hayden blinked, not knowing what that was but nodded anyway "Should I stay here?"

Jax's mind was racing almost as fast as his heart. “I don’t care.” he ran to the car and left Hayden behind as he sped to the hospital. Thinking back it was stupid to leave him anywhere but Jax couldn’t think then. He needed to get to the hospital. Once there, he ran in and after the elevator took too long he went to the staircase taking them two at a time until Jax got to the fourth floor. Once there, he ran down the hall to Jax's brother's room and what he saw inside made him fall to his knees.

Branden was in his bed but he was covered with a sheet. The nurse came up behind Jax and caught him just as he fainted.

The nurse had others help lift him off the cold ground before laying Jax on the small couch in the room until he gain consciousness again so they could explain what had happened.

When Jax woke up, he didn’t know where he was for a second and then it came back to him and a sob left him that hurt his chest. The nurse was in front from Jax and her look of sympathy make him physically ill.

“What happened? He was fine!”

She smiled sadly "He came back in with chest pains and when we checked we found out it was a heart attack. We did everything to try to stop it but it was too late." 

Jax heard this but he didn’t understand it. It was impossible to understand. His brother, his big brother, was gone. The one who had taught him to ride a bike, the one who had taken him to my first R rated movie, who was the first one he came out to….he was gone? It wasn’t real!

“Heart attack? He was 22 years old it doesn’t make sense.”

She nodded "I know. And we are trying to figure out what happened. I don't even think he knew."

Jax knew! He knew! Jax ran out of the hospital and to back to his car. Running every light and stop sign, he made it back to the park hoping the demon was still there so he could send him back to hell.

Hayden heard Jax come back and frowned at how angry he looked. What happened? Today was turning out to be so very weird.

Jax walked up to him and he stood. Right in Hayden's face he screamed as Jax reached out to grab the front of his shirt. “What the fuck did you do to him!”

Hayden blinked and backed away. Do what to who? He was with Jax all day. "What are you talking about?"

“Could what you did to my brother cause his heart to stop? Don’t fucking lie to me either I have done nothing but try to help you and you killed my brother!”

Hayden blinked again and stared at Jax blankly "I see. And you blame me? Is that what makes it easy for you? Blame people who don't know anything about in this new place. Or how to even find your brother? Or even left your side for even a second? If you used that book. The book my brother showed you it would have been from a magical being. Maybe you should read a little more before bringing back the cursed."

Jax heard the pain in his voice and knew it wasn’t contrived. It wasn’t him but what else could it be? Jax sat hard on the bench and put his face in his hands. “Cursed? I’m the one cursed."

"You don't seem to be all that bad." Hayden smiled slightly thinking of Kane but this time, for some reason, it was Jax instead.

Jax sobbed so hard he felt like vomiting. None of it was real. It couldn’t be. Jax was having some horrible dream and Hayden haunted it. Finally, when he stopped crying, Jax looked up at Hayden who was smiling at Jax almost warmly.

“What the hell are you smiling at?”

Hayden shook his head and frowned "Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

Jax don’t know what came over him. It could have been the grief or the way Hayden looked at him or maybe it was just the intense need he had at that moment for human…or whatever…contact. Jax got up and went to Hayden throwing himself at him, grabbing his face hard and smashing Jax's lips to his as he kissed him like some insane person.

When Hayden was kissed, he froze. Did he know what he was doing? If he kissed back would he hate him more? Did Hayden even want to kiss him back? Before he knew it, Hayden had raised his hand to Jax's neck and slowly kissed him back. It felt so wrong but right at the same time.

Jax was worried for a minute that Hayden was using some trick on him because his kiss was absolutely magical. Jax opened his mouth to let Hayden’s tongue in when he licked over his bottom lip and the soft caress against Jax's, took him away on a wave of amazement. He'd never felt a kiss like it, never even imagined a kiss could be the way that one was.

Hayden moved his other free hand down to Jax's waist and pulled him closer towards him as Hayden deepened the kiss more. His hand that rested on the side of Jax's neck moved to the back, kissing him more passionately. Deep inside however Hayden wondered why he had started this. He thought Jax was sad. Two seconds ago he was upset. But it was so very good Hayden couldn't stop.

Jax had to stop it. What the hell was he doing? Jax was making out with a fucking demon! A demon! He felt Hayden's hands on him and felt the kiss deepen and Jax wanted it, wanted it and wanted him more than he’d ever wanted anything but he had to stop it. Jax pulled away and it felt like he was pulling out his very soul. Maybe Jax had. Maybe in all of this craziness he had lost his soul.

No, he had given it up, handed it to Hayden with both hands willingly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me longer than I though it would be to edit but im pretty sure there is still some things wrong with it

After the kiss, which Hayden was still confused about, Jax took Hayden to something called a movie. It was loud. Very loud. It turned out to be entertaining though and Hayden liked it in the end. They were now in the car once more and Jax was telling him what everything was on the way. When they passed the turn to the house, Hayden was even more confused. Where were they going now? It was late. Or Hayden thought it was late. It was getting dark either way. When they turned the way of the village, Hayden wanted to jump out and run away but when Hayden turned and saw the look on Jax's face he stopped and let him continue.

Jax knew he would not be happy at first but after losing Branden, Jax needed him to confront his own brother. Jax didn't really know if he could explain why. Jax stopped the car and got out, saw the look Hayden was giving him and got the shivers but he stood strong.

"Get out. I want you to speak to your brother."

Hayden stared at Jax like he had grown a second head. Him talk to his brother? "Why here? Why talk to him?"

"Because it is what I want. Do it for me?"

Hayden stared at Jax before sighing and nodded before slowly getting out of the car. "Fine. For you."

Jax felt relief flood through him. Jax went over to where the demon had first come to him and he stood looking around. Finally Jax yelled, "Come out here!!"

Hayden stayed by the car as memories came from being around this place once again. In the corner of the forest there was a shadow that moved and came towards them. He grinned and looked at them when he got close enough.

Jax saw Cayson emerging and Jax's heart started pounding harder. He had gone there, had actually driven there on his own initiative and there Jax was in the middle of two demons? He really had lost his fucking mind.

"I brought him here so you two could talk."

Cayson tilted his head and looked at Jax "Brought who?"

Jax looked at Cayson and looked over at the car and told Hayden, "Get out here!" 

Hayden sighed and started to walk over to Jax and Cayson, not wanting to be around this place and what it held or Cayson.

"Little brother! How have you been you wash out little demon fuck!?"  
Hayden took a step back looking at Cayson "Last I checked you were washed out."

"Last I heard you were fucking dead. Can't handle losing a fucking human? You're fucking pathetic but I guess I'm glad to see you're back."

Hayden growled slightly at him and took a small step forward "No you're not."

"They why did I give the human the spell? I can't have it get around that my brother took the cowards way out!" Cayson walked to Hayden and stood over him. No matter his age Cayson would always be bigger and stronger and he knew it. Cayson looked at his human and said, "So are you happy to be reunited?"

Hayden tightened his jaw and stood straighter, hating the fact he was shorter. "What are you talking about?"

"Well I figured you would be in a good mood with your human back." Cayson looked at him strangely.   
Did he really not know? How couldn't he? This was something for the record books. "That's Kane, or at least his soul is."

Hayden looked away from them both "It isn't the same."

Cayson couldn't believe they didn't know. He just couldn't believe it. "Oh never mind. Hey what say you two excuse me for a second huh?"

Hayden blinked and looked at him before nodding slightly. He seemed so very off. Did something happen to him in the years he have been gone?

Cayson went to the base of the burning post and threw in some Phoenix ash. Chanting his ancient words, he cast the spell and as soon as he felt the old magic lifting in the air. As soon as Cayson felt the stirrings of the black and white magic combining until the shift in the ground let him know it was done and he looked over to the boys. 

o0o0o0o

As he left Hayden turned to Jax and looked at him and sighed at the look on his face. "I think we should go. Thank you though."

Jax regretted going there and he turned to leave. Suddenly it felt like a million butterflies were fluttering in Jax's body, his stomach, his limbs and his head. Jax felt dizzy and he couldn't breathe. He looked to Hayden who was running to Jax with fear on his face. Jax looked to Cayson and he was smiling.  
"What did you do to me you fucker"

Hayden made sure Jax was ok and stable. Turning, and running towards Cayson. Cayson held up his hand stopping Hayden in his tracks. "You'll thank me when you realize what's happening. Goodbye brother." Hayden glared at him as he suddenly left. He growled slightly getting irritated with him. He turned back to Jax and helped him up but frowned when he suddenly cried out. Hayden kneeled down in front of Jax and frowned. He tilted Jax's head up and saw blood running like tears under his eyes and Hayden immediately froze. He swallowed and breathed deeply knowing he had to help Jax. Though he had no idea what was going on. He picked Jax up and walked towards where Jax had parked and stared at it. Hayden didn't know how to drive and Jax could barely walk. Hayden looked down at him and growled again in frustration. Hayden walked away from the car and raced off towards the house. They got there much later than normal but by the time they got there, Jax had soaked the shirt Hayden had on with blood and he felt an odd burning on his hand that Hayden hadn't felt in forever. He opened the door and laid him on the couch nearby and looked down at Jax.

Jax didn't know much of anything but the way he felt and that he was all wet. Jax didn't even notice the blood at first until he saw Hayden cleaning him. His whole body hurt. What had started out feeling like butterflies now felt like all of them had razors for wings. Cayson had done something but he couldn't fathom what it was. Jax's hand itched terribly and when he looked at it a mark was forming. Jax held it out to Hayden. When he saw it he gasped

Hayden froze once he saw Jax's hand and gripped at the rag he had gotten to clean up the blood on Jax. Hayden didn't know what was happening but he looked down at his own mark which by now had turned back to its normal black color. It only meant that the bearer of the other mark was alive. But that was impossible. Kane was dead. Hayden swallowed once more and looked back up at Jax only to see he was passed out. Hayden breathed deeply and continued to clean Jax now that the blood stopped running. Once done, Hayden carefully took off Jax's bloody shirt and tossed it aside. The only proof rested on his side. A deep and old looking cuts in Jax's side that he knew was not there before but on Kane they were. Hayden breathed shakily and backed away. What the hell was going on? 

Jax didn't know how long he slept but when he woke up he felt different. Jax looked up to see Hayden staring at him with tears in his eyes. Jax felt an overwhelming love for him blooming over his chest. 

"Hayden? What's wrong? Am I....what's happening to me?"

Hayden looked at Jax and watched over him the whole time he was asleep. Hayden couldn't help it. "I...I don't know."

Jax sat up and felt over his arms and legs and they didn't feel like his and yet they did. He felt his face and it was the same and yet there were subtle changes. But how? It made no sense. Then he saw the mark on his hand. It was the twin of Hayden's. Jax stared up at him and his tears streaked his face. He was so beautiful. This was his Hayden. Hayden was his and that is what Jax felt more than anything else. How the hell could that be? He remembered him. Remembered making love with him. 

"Hayden I....remember you. I remember loving you." 

Hayden brushed his tears off his face and smiled. He didn't want to move or blink, afraid that this was all a dream. A dream he didn't want to end. Hayden leaned back against the seat he had been sitting on and chocked back another sob. 

"Yeah?"

"Yes Hayden I remember walking in the forest with you and kissing you under that tree that was just changing colors. I remember planning a house...this house for us to live in and start a family. Why do I remember things that never happened?"

Hayden shook his head "I honestly don't know. Does...does anything hurt? I...I can find something to help you if it does."

Did anything hurt? Yes it did. It hurt Hayden didn't recognize Kane. He wanted to scream at Hayden but it was stupid. He knew him. He was Jax. Dammit he was Kane! Oh no it couldn't be. He was both? 

"Hayden do you still love me. Tell me you haven't forgotten me my love."

Hayden tightened his jaw and wanted nothing more to leap out of the seat and hug and cling to him 

"I...of course I do."

Hayden loved him! The sky was filling with shooting stars and the air was filled with roses. Jax could scream to the world. He stood up and steadied his wobbly legs. 

"Come to me my love. I need to feel your arms around me."

Hayden couldn't move. His breathing picked up and his heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. Instead of standing up, he reached up and took Jax's/Kane's hand and carefully pulled him closer. Hayden wrapped his arms around him as Hayden sat Jax on his lap. He buried his head in Jax's neck and breathed deeply.

It felt like heaven being there with him. Everything he'd ever wanted in the world he found in Hayden's arms. Hayden was the world and he lived for him. Kane lived because of him. Hayden brought him back. Somehow his love brought Kane back. Oh how much he must have hurt waiting for Kane all the years. How many? How long did his love wait for Kane? 

"Hayden? What is the month...the year? How long have I been gone?" Even as he said it, though he already knew. The part of him that was Jax knew. 

"Don't answer love. I've left you alone for centuries. How did you go on?"

Hayden clung to him tighter and closed his eyes against Jax's neck. As he was about to answer the first question, Jax told him not to. But his next question made Hayden take a deep breath.

"I didn't. I couldn't. I died four years later."

It was strange the memory of one combining with another but Kane knew he was telling the truth. He killed himself because he couldn't live without Kane. He wasted his life. Jax got off of Hayden and stormed off, running through the house. Jax went to the bedroom, the bedroom he dreamed of and he looked out of the window. Hayden left the world. He was a coward and a fraud. His strong lover, his selfless Hayden left the world. Jax heard Hayden come in to the room and he turned to face Hayden. 

His words were like venom. "How could you!? How could you do that?!"

"It was common. When our kind lose the one we love, we don't last much longer than them. Its...kind of like a cruel life. But I tried. Three week after it happened, I wanted to just die. I went insane eventually. I kept seeing things, you mainly. Four years of it, I couldn't do it anymore."

Jax collapsed. They lost so much. Taken from each other by cruel people. How could they ever get back to where they were? Jax looked up at him and pleaded. "Where do we go from here?"

Hayden smiled sadly and moved over to Kane, dropping to his knees by Jax. "I can only say that where we left off. But there is so very much that I don't even know or understand. But I am sure you know some."

Did Jax know anything? All he really knew is that there were emotions boiling up inside of him that he didn't know how to deal with. Two lives collided as one and the pain and happiness of both competed for the foreground. 

"The only thing that both Kane and Jax have in common is you."

Hayden smiled a little and kissed him lightly "Well all I want is you."

Anger came up from seemingly nowhere but it flew out like it was a bomb exploding from inside of Jax. 

"Which one!?"

Jax pushed Hayden and turned away, the hurtful words stinging his throat. 

"Which one do you love Hayden? Aren't you lucky to have both the men you want in one body? How fucking convenient for you. I died and was reborn and here I am both of my lives fallen in love with a demon and bound to end up dead again! You are cursed and you have cursed me! maybe I'll just keep coming back again and again and you will have dozens of men to love all rolled up inside one body!"

Hayden didn't know what hit him but before he knew it he had Jax/Kane pinned against the wall, his hands pinning his shoulders back and Hayden was inches from his face. 

"You damn well know that answer. If you don't then maybe I made a mistake in it all. I never once thought of this...body...as a lover or anything more."

"Liar! You're lying! You kissed me! You kissed Jax! You kissed me I felt it, it wasn't just a kiss! You were falling in love with Jax and you had no idea it was Kane! You had no idea I was the same!"

"You weren't the same. I kissed him over a moment of weakness. I do not nor will I ever love him."

The part of me that was Jax felt like throwing himself out of the window. Jax thought something was there when Hayden had kissed him. Jax thought he cared at least a little. Hayden saw the confusion on his face so he adjusted it back to angry.

"I see." 

He wriggled out of his grasp and tried to get away.

Hayden twitched slightly before throwing him towards the bed and made him fall, landing on his back. Hayden stalked over to him and stared down at him. 

"You confuse me. You yell at me for loving both, or at least feeling something, yet I tell you I don't and you get mad. Which is it? I did not plan for any of this to happen. I only loved you and now someone who looks almost one hundred percent like you use to comes along and I am forced to let him invade my home. I couldn't help but notice things. I was insane when I died and insane while dead. Now I think I am insane while alive too." 

Being under him brought so many memories. His face, intense, angry and there in his eyes that love that was Jax's. "You wear your insanity well my love."

Hayden smiled and leaned over him and kissed him softly "Really?"

Jax could live or die a million times and never get enough of his lips. His soft demonic kisses that had taken him to places he had never known could be real. Jax kissed him back and he touched his tongue to Jax's. He moaned under Hayden, lifting his hips until their erections touched. Hot chills broke out over Kane's body and he clutched at Hayden, making Hayden be as close to him as possible. 

Hayden shivered and moaned a little as he deepened the kiss. Hayden wrapped his arms under and around Jax's waist, pulling him closer as Hayden moved them up on the bed until they reached the pillows. Hayden moved against Jax and nipped at his lower lip. Hayden moved one of his hands up Jax's naked chest loving the feeling of his soft skin.

"I missed you. Oh god I love you so much Hayden." 

Jax kissed Hayden's neck, his shoulder, as Hayden ground against him. It had been so long since Jax felt this kind of arousal, this aching for the man whose hands roamed over Jax and touched all those places he loved to be touched. Hayden's fingers skimmed over his sides and his soft lips on Jax's chin, Hayden's sharp teeth nibbled his jaw. He loved Hayden, and he couldn't resist him. 

"Make love to me Hayden. Please take me."

Hayden groaned into Jax's neck and shivered as Hayden nipped Jax's shoulder and neck met. He slowly moved his hands down to Jax's waist again and lifted his head. Hayden looked into his eyes deeply 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes my love. Make love to me. I need to feel you inside of me. Don't make me wait any longer."

Hayden smiled and nodded before sitting up. He reached down to pull down Jax's tight fitting pants. Once they were off, Hayden tossed them aside before laying over Jax's warm body again. He moved Jax's hands around his own waist and went back to kissing him again. Being freed of all Jax's clothes was like being freed of the years that kept him from his love. Jax's eyes wanted to close but he wanted to see Hayden, every second of him, every inch of him and Jax did. He left his eyes open as they kissed, and as Hayden touched him. Jax watched him taking off his own clothes and spreading Jax's legs to lay between them and stare into his eyes.

Hayden smiled softly down at Jax as Hayden ran his hands down Jax's sides and laid almost completely over him but not enough to crush him. Hayden leaned down and kissed his jaw slowly as Hayden moved one of his hands in between them and wrapped his hand around Jax's cock carefully.

Jax couldn't help but yell when Hayden touched his cock. His long thin fingers wrapped around it tenderly and Jax's hips bucked up. Jax could remember the first time Hayden had touched him like that, so gently and so calmly. He took Jax the first time slowly and made sure he enjoyed it. Jax loved that he was taking such care with him again but even though Jax hadn't been fucked in awhile, he was still no virgin. 

"Are you scared of me Hayden? Fuck me like the demon you are Dammit!"

Hayden chuckled and nodded before letting go of Jax's cock and went to reach in the bedside table. He reached in and grabbed a small bottle of lotion that he had seen Jax put there. He hadn’t known why, now he did. Hayden quickly readied himself before tossing the bottle aside. He grabbed his now slick cock and moved to Jax's entrance and pushed inside, moaning at the long missed feeling.

Oh the feeling of being filled with his love! The pain of Hayden's huge cock bearing down deep inside of Jax, stretching for the first time in forever and the pleasure of it taking all of him, touching every inch of his hot tunnel. Jax was alive again. Maybe he was alive for the first time ever. Jax's nails dug into Hayden's skin but he rose up to meet his thrust and screamed out, screamed so loud he thought he must have scared the birds from the forest and at the end of that scream was a laugh made out of pure long awaiting joy!

Hayden chuckled softly and moaned more as Jax's nails ran down Hayden's back more. He moved his hips in a way that used to make Jax see stars. Well from what he used to tell Hayden. He picked his pace and moved quickly and hard against Jax, wanting to bring him as much pleasure as he could. Hayden growled deeply against Jax's neck and pulled him closer by the middle of his back.

Zings of electricity went through him as Hayden plunged inside of Jax, fuck it was the best feeling in the world having him inside him again. He hit Jax's special spot over and over pushing Jax so close to climax he could taste it and his deep chuckles making Jax crazy with pure lust. If he was evil, Jax felt it no more than then when he used his wickedness on Jax's body to bring him over the edge of wondrous. Jax came and soaked their flesh between them. Kane's cries of happiness filled the room and echoed back to him.

Hayden grunted at the sudden tight feeling as Jax had came. He moved faster and harder before he soon came inside Jax. He collapsed on top of Jax and closed his eyes, breathing heavily.  
"Tell me again. Tell me you love me."

Hayden opened his eyes and looked up at Kane. "I thought you were mad about that."

"One of me was mad the other was happy. It's not my fault." Kane laughed hard and bit Hayden's face. 

Hayden chuckled and kissed Kane. "Well as long as you won't be angry. I love you Jax."


	11. Chapter 11

The next day had been pretty much as confusing as Hayden thought it would be. But at least Jax knew what some stuff was because Hayden sure as hell didn't. After they had eaten that morning, they laid on the couch and Jax laid on top of Hayden. He had his hands wrapped around Jax's slim waist and he had his eyes closed. It was quiet and peaceful right now and Hayden loved every second of it. Last night he had to explain everything that had happened. After a choice words from Jax, things calmed down and were fine again.

As Jax watched him smile the world felt right again. He had his suspicions of what his death had done to Hayden. Now they were together again and not only was Hayden smiling, Jax felt whole again at last. He had memories of both the lives of Jax and Kane but Jax didn't consider himself either one. He didn't have a name now. He was only Hayden's love and maybe Hayden could give him a special name. Maybe Hayden's love would show him who he was really to be in this arnation, and in his arms. 

Hayden ran one of hands down Jax's back slowly and kissed his head. When he told Hayden he didn't want either name, he was confused. Then he explained why and it made sense. They were both different now in a way. He hummed and yawned a little before moving his leg up to get more comfortable. 

Jax brought his head up and kissed his darling's lips, which were made for kissing in his opinion, and licked over his chin in order to arouse him. "Hayden my love will we truly be happy now? Will we live in our home and be content?"

Hayden kissed him back softly and shivered when Jax licked his chin. It always seemed to get Hayden when he did that. He smiled and pulled Jax close "I'm sure we will be very happy. All of the old threats have faded it seems. There is nothing left to hurt us."

Jax smiled so wide then and lowered his eyes demurely. "Do you think we could have a family some day?"

Hayden smiled and nodded "If we try I'm sure we can. Do you want one?"

Jax tweaked his love's narrow nose. "One!? I want ten." Wow! Lots of kids to take care of.

Hayden's eyes widened and stared at him "Ten? Why ten?"

He lowered his eyes again and kissed over Hayden's chest. "I want to be surrounded without children. I want all of them to look just like you so where ever I look I see your face."

Hayden smiled and looked down at Jax "What if I want to be surrounded by you? Does that mean we get twenty?"

As overwhelming as it might seem to some it sounded like heaven to Jax. "Twenty would be glorious."

Hayden smiled and kissed him softly "Then twenty it is. But not at the same time hopefully."

Jax moved up on his and rubbed his throbbing member over Hayden's, glad for now it was just the two of them because he wanted his lover inside of him. As Jax kissed Hayden deeply he held his face then Jax lifted his chin so he could kiss and suck at his long neck.

Hayden moaned softly and tilted his head back. He gripped Jax's hips and moved his hands under Jax's shirt. Hayden ran his hands up Jax's sides and moved against him. He shivered as Jax moved down further before Hayden moved his hands and took Jax's shirt off and tossed it aside. 

Jax couldn't believe that he could still light his body the way Hayden did. It was electric, his touch, and soon Jax was panting, in absolute need of him. Jax moved to the side so they could lay beside each other as their kissing intensified. Hayden moved over as much as he could so Jax could move where he wanted to be. Hayden kissed him again deeply, wrapping his arms around Jax's waist. He moaned and pressed against Jax again. Hayden broke the kiss and took his own shirt off before kissing Jax once again. Jax moved Hayden's hands to his ass as Jax looked into his dark and sinister eyes. 

"Fuck me my love. I want you inside of me and I want you to make us one person."

Hayden smiled and nodded gripping his ass before moving and laying on top of him. Hayden leaned up and quickly removed Jax's pants and his own. Hayden looked around for anything to use to help them in this situation, but couldn't find anything. He shrugged and leaned forward and over Jax before kissing him softly and running Hayden's thumb under Jax's lip as he kissed him. Hayden soon broke the kiss and rubbed his lip again. 

"Suck."

Zings of pure lust shot through Jax and he licked over his lips, salivating to have his love's beautiful big cock in his mouth. Jax pushed Hayden up and back then positioned himself before he took Hayden's cock into his hand, gripping it gently and licking over the slit teasingly while he looked up at Hayden with a smile. Jax pushed the tip into his mouth and got a jet of precum over his tongue. Hayden moaned and looked down at Jax, running his hands through Jax's hair. Hayden shivered at the feeling so familiar and he moved his hips slightly letting Jax do it at his own pace. Hayden laid completely down and moved his legs wider giving Jax more room and letting him be comfortable. Hayden's taste was like nothing else. It was pure sex and arousal in Jax's mouth and he sucked him slowly, lavishing Jax's tongue over every bit of that taut flesh, he moaned as he took Hayden deeper, letting the crown get swallowed in Jax's throat, Hayden's hips bucking as he groaned under Jax. As Jax wrapped his hand over Hayden's balls, he sucked his way back up Hayden's long luscious shaft then plunged back down taking it all and loving every second of it. His love's pleasure was Jax's only need in life. As long as Kane could make him moan in pleasure then Jax's life was a symphony of happiness.

Hayden moaned and his breathing picked up. Hayden ran his hands gently through Jax's hair as he started moving his head. Hayden laid his head back against the arm of the couch enjoying the feeling Hayden could never have forgotten. Soon though Hayden moved Jax off and pulled him up. He kissed Jax deeply as he grabbed his ass and pulled him over Hayden's cock. He looked up at Jax and smiled 

"You sure?"

Instead of answering, Jax sunk down slowly on Hayden feeling his cock breech Jax and he stopped to relax and savor it, his love inside of him once again. It was what he wished for more than anything. Jax lowered himself until Hayden was all the way inside of him, filling him so deep and when Jax opened his eyes Hayden's face was flushed and his eyes were alive with passion as they stared into Kane's.

Hayden gasped and gripped his hips as he moved down. Hayden leaned forward once he was completely down and kissed Jax passionately and deeply. Hayden moved his hips forward and Jax's knees up to give himself enough room to move. Hayden started moving, pulling Jax’s hips to meet Hayden's. As their breath mingled and Jax sunk on him again and again Jax's body felt him in every cell. They were one again. Two soul and two bodies entwined and he felt so good. Jax knew he never wanted him to be apart from Jax again. Jax wanted Hayden's cock inside of him deeper. Jax slammed down, impaling himself on him as their mouths joined in a kiss and mutual scream of ecstasy.

Hayden tightened his grip on Jax's hips at the sudden feeling and bit at Jax's lip slightly. As he moved again, Hayden moved with him making the feeling more pleasurable. He soon got tired of the position so Hayden grabbed Jax around the waist and held him close before moving and laying with him on his back and Hayden over Jax. Hayden took one of his legs and moved it forwards before he started moving again making his cock go in deeper than before. With him over Jax, using his whole body to fuck him, Jax felt himself getting so close to orgasm. Jax was teetering at the edge. Jax took his cock in his hand but Hayden smiled and moved his hand, replacing it with his own.

"Please baby!"

Hayden grinned and moved quicker against Jax, as he felt closer. Hayden reached in-between them and gripped his cock, moving it in time with Hayden's thrusts.

"Oh my love, make me come!" Jax screamed as Hayden touched him but that smile, that wicked demonic smile came to his lips as his thrust sped up and deepened. Jax wrapped his legs tight around him and grabbed his face kissing him. "Fuck! I love you so much!"

Hayden moaned and growled slightly into the kiss as his hand tightened and speed up on Jax's cock. Hayden moved his head to Jax's neck and breathed heavily. 

"I love you too. So very much."

As Jax came over Hayden hand and on his stomach, Hayden came inside of him, filling Jax with his seed and with so much warmth and love Jax felt consumed by it. Jax's screams and Hayden’s mouth on him as the climax took them both were surreal. Thinking this would never happen again was a horrible torture and this was the reward for all the years of being apart from Hayden's love. He laid on Hayden and kissed him sweetly and his world was complete

Hayden pulled him close and kissed his neck softly. It was probably the greatest feeling Hayden had ever felt and he didn't want it to go. Hayden kissed Jax again and closed his eyes. But the memories of all the times before made this one just as special. Hayden felt complete and happy. More so now than before. He didn't regret anything and he was glad Jax felt the same for him as he did then. Hayden looked down at his hand and traced the mark there. 

"You need more clothes I think. You're taller than before either way. But I have no idea how to attempt to get anywhere nor where anything is."

Jax laughed at his primitive lover. "You forget my love, Jax is still in me. Still is me, whatever. I can drive, I can shop and I can count current currency. We'll go tomorrow. Unless we stay in bed all day."

Hayden smiled and nodded "Good. That sounds better. What do you want to do today?"

"What we just did a few more times then plan on out family. You once said years ago that you could give me children. How can we do that?" 

Hayden smiled and kissed Jax again and looked down at him "There's a...spell of sorts. I wrote it down a long time ago. It said it was painful but permante."

Not that Jax liked the thought of painful but it would be worth it if he could have the children he so wanted. Hayden's sons and daughters. "I want to do it."

Hayden blinked but nodded "Right now? Are you sure?"

"Unless you don't want to of course."

"Of course I do. Go shower and get pants on and I will get the things I need."

"Alright my love. Are you sure? It's just been so long for us that I want to start having all the things we dreamed of all those years ago."

"My dreams have never changed. I still wish for us to have a family and in this home."

Jax took Hayden's hands in his and looked over Hayden's face imagining the babies that would look like him. "That's what I want and I don't want to wait anymore. We've waited so long my love. Give me what I want."

Hayden smiled and kissed him softly. "Then go get clean and get pants on. I'll get the things we need."

Jax felt butterflies in his stomach as he left Hayden to do as Hayden bid. As he climbed the stairs of his, no their, home he heard the sound of laughter. Children's laughter and Jax smiled. Soon their home would be filled and the life they'd planned so long ago could finally come true.

Jax ran a bath and bathed for a long time letting his thoughts take him away. It had been so long since he thought he could have the life with his beloved that he wanted every bit as much as he wanted the air in his lungs. When Jax was dressed and downstairs again, he went through the house looking for his lover but he didn't find him. Jax felt his heart begin to race and he worried that he had rushed Hayden.

o0o0o0o

When he left, Hayden quickly got dressed and grabbed a few bags. He then went deep into the forest to get blood from the nearest animal he could find. He put it into a bag and sealed it. Hayden ran to a pond and got some mud to mix with it before heading back. Hayden checked to make sure Jax was still in the bathroom before grabbing the diary under the pillow. He opened it quickly to the back page and ripped it out before running downstairs and grabbing a bowl as Hayden headed back outside. He sat the things down before grunting, realizing he forgot a sheet or blanket for Jax to lay on. Hayden ran back inside and got the one from the couch and laid it down with the things. Hayden quickly mixed the blood together with the mud in the bowl, making a kind of paste. He grunted at the smell but shook it off. He sat the bowl aside before going to get Jax. Hayden smiled and saw him waiting. 

"Ready?"

Seeing him Jax could finally breath and he nodded as Hayden took his hand to lead him outside. Jax saw there was a sheet there and looked to be the makings of a ritual. In their past days, Jax would never have gotten near one of Hayden's rituals. They scared him so much that he stayed away but it was exactly that, that had brought them back together and besides, Jax trusted him. Hayden smiled and kissed his head before walking him over to the sheet. 

"Just lay on your back and relax. You may not like the ending but it needs to be done."

Jax was shaking all over as he laid down but his Hayden didn't stop staring into his eyes, giving him the strength to do whatever Jax had to do. 

"I'm ready love."

Hayden smiled and leaned down, kissed his forehead. Hayden reached over and grabbed the bowl. He looked down and read the paper once again just to be safe. He took a deep breath before taking the mixture in the bowl and started to draw symbols on Jaxs stomach. After he was done, he sat the bowl aside and bit into his own wrist, which hurt but it was needed. Hayden added his own blood over the symbol and started speaking softly the words that needed to be said. Then everything stopped. He rebit his wrist and held it to Jax's lips 

"You need to drink."

Jax was horrified when he saw Hayden hurt himself the first time but when he did it again and wanted Jax to drink his blood he wasn't sure if he could do it. As he looked at Jax, so calm and good he did as he asked and touched his lips to Hayden's torn wrist and started to drink. As Jax felt the blood running into his body a strange sensation took over him. At first it was like he was lighter than air and beaming with the light of a thousand stars. Jax radiated happiness and fulfillment but what came next was nearly unbearable pain. A thousand invisible daggers were stabbing Jax in his abdomen all at once and he was being torn apart but when Jax looked down, he saw he was still whole. Jax pleaded with his love, "Help me Hayden!"

Hayden ran his hand through Jax's hair as he drank and felt horrible for what was to come. And when it came, Hayden wanted it all to stop. When Jax asked for him to help him. Hayden swallowed and moved closer to him and held his hand. Hayden rubbed his forehead and tried to relax him again even though it was impossible. 

"You can't be moved love. You'll be in more pain if you do. But I'm here."

Jax tried to bear it. He had to show his love he was strong enough for this. How would Hayden trust him to take care of his children if he couldn't take the ritual to help him make them. Jax clenched his jaw and screamed though the pain but didn't move.

Hayden held his hand tightly and kissed his forehead again. For several minutes Hayden watched as he went through so much pain and Hayden was about to stop it when it ended. He sighed and kissed him softly. 

"It is over."

With the pain stopping so fast Jax was worried he had done something wrong. 

"What happened?"

Hayden chuckled. "Nothing's wrong. Its over."

"We will have a child now?"

Hayden smiled "Well no. We have to have sex but yes. After that, most likely." 

Jax smiled so wide it hurt his cheeks and he pulled Hayden down to him, kissing him hard. Jax loved the man so much he couldn't breathe and Hayden's hands on him told Jax it was time to make their child. Hayden kissed him back deeply and moved to lay partially on top of Jax, moaning softly. After kissing him, Hayden wanted more so he moved slightly and pulled Jax closer towards his body.

"Make me with child lover." Jax moaned as he kissed Hayden sensual lips and over his neck, biting hard like his Hayden likes to be bit.

Jax moaned when Hayden bit him. Hayden quickly picked Jax up off the sheet and moved them back inside. Hayden moved up the stairs and into their bedroom, kissing him the whole way. Hayden laid Jax down before moving in-between his legs. When Hayden figured Jax was ready enough, he moved closer and pushed his cock in Jax deeply. It felt so good being opened by Hayden, his cock so deep in Jax, pushing and stretching, making him feel so hot inside. Hayden’s mouth was on his, swallowing the groans of pure ecstasy and Jax's hands clutched at his back. He wanted Hayden's seed, he wanted their child but right then in that moment all Jax wanted was him and the way he made Jax feel when he thrust his cock in his body. Hayden moved his hands under him and moved slowly and deeply inside him. He could never get enough of Jax and he wanted more. He felt amazing and Hayden knew he was lucky to have Jax back. Hayden buried his head in Jax's neck as he moved. Hayden pulled him closer before he used one hand to run down his side to his hip, moving him against Hayden more. He moaned again and slowly started to pick up the pace, not able to keep it slow for long. He wanted Hayden’s see. Wanted their child. But right at that moment, all he wanted was to feel that wonderful thrusting cock.

"Yes faster, take me my love take me deeper." 

Jax had to have Hayden. Jax's cock between them was so sensitive he could come at any moment and the closer the feeling got the harder Hayden fucked Jax. Jax's head bent back to give Hayden his neck, He wanted Hayden's teeth in him. He wanted it rough. The ritual was having some strange affect on Jax and he wanted Hayden to take him to the highest he could get without dying. 

Hayden grunted and moved slightly so he could get a better angle before moving deeper and faster as he could. When Jax moved his neck Hayden groaned and bit down hard at his shoulder. He felt Jax's cock move in-between them and he moved slightly and wrapped his hand around Jax's hard cock and moved it in time with Hayden's thrusts. As Jax felt himself coming he wanted Hayden to come with him. He needed Hayden to come with him. It was the only thing in the world Jax could think to desire at that moment. 

"Come with me my love. Hayden come inside of me!" 

He thrust faster as Jax came between them, his body shivering and quaking with the intensity of it. Jax felt the tears roll out of his eyes as he saw the look of bliss on his lover's face and felt the love and the heat they shared come to a climax that surpass the centuries they'd been apart.

As Hayden came in Jax, he felt so very happy and connected to Jax again. Hayden breathed heavily and shakily as he tried not to collapse on Jax. It now felt like it did so long ago. Hayden felt what he was feeling and Hayden was sure it was the same to him. He moved over and out of Jax so he could collapse without hurting Jax as he could barely keep himself up. Hayden pulled him close and wrapped his arms around Jax again. 

"How do you feel love?"

Jax's body was alive again now more than ever and Jax reached up to kiss him tenderly. "I feel wonderful. I love you Hayden. When will we know if I have your child inside of me?"

Hayden smiled and kissed him back softly "I think a few weeks to a month."

As he moved to lay beside of Jax, he took Hayden's hand and laid it on Jax's stomach. 

"That's our baby."

Hayden smiled and rubbed his stomach "Thanks to you."


End file.
